I have to draft three plates today. I’m still very cool. Wonder how. Maybe because it’s tangible work. Something measurable. Not like third week at design studio. It’s amusing, how I tend to calm down when I know exactly what is needed to be done, even though I might enjoy working on design more than building construction. Naveen was talking about some senior in college today- “She’s in final year and she still has such interest in bc that she actually drafts all her plates..”. What does ‘still’ mean? Why do people in general lose interest in drafting bc by the time they reach fourth year? Should they? Why is there always a difference between what should be done and what is happening? Is it universal? Do I ask too many questions?

I want to watch tv at 5. The time is five to five. What could I possibly write about in five minutes? Five minutes comes across as such a small period of time...there are a lot of things that can be done in one minute, let alone five. For example, typing a message. Or tying your shoe laces. Or searching my entire room for my pen drive (on a weekday morning, that is. It would take me an entire Sunday in peaceful circumstances). See, only three of five minutes up. I still have time. Hehe..my brain is blank. I don’t understand it when people say they go blank the moment someone asks them to say something about something specific. Like- “what’s your opinion on the third week of deliberations of the fifth round table conference?”---”er...”! Amazingly, I still have thirty seconds to go! Nothing else to do, so I’ll buzz off!

I like the word ‘random’. It’s so cool. So powerful and simple at the same time. It is the difference between a mugger and a clever chap. It’s ok if you don’t dig. Chill madi. I have a history with these kinds of phrases. Throughout school and college, these catch words have always been around as the language of that time...”nin tale kayi bajji”, “addjusht”, “halli guggu”, “fine, ok?!!”, “crap!”, “nin muthi!”, “too much ma!”, “ehao”, and many more. Wonder if we can keep track of time with respect to these phrases? What if it becomes something like a fashion trend, which repeats itself in due time? If we made calendars based on these catch words, we would be wrapping time around a circle...no end or beginning...quite like it already is, don’t u think?

I was watching ‘Chhoti si baat’ a few days back...such an innocent, warm movie. It reflects the state of our society at that point of time- the offices, the ways of life...i don’t think I can find a movie with such a simple heart now- now it’s all about the bikinis and the love making scenes. Even good movies like munnabhai are different from the old ones- the problems, the obstacles, the plots are different. Earlier problems would be the rich girl’s dad or poverty. Today they are about the corrupt government, infidelity, and the hero’s own wicked brother. It’s about murder, about arguments between a couple. I think the problems of today have climbed up the ladder of basic needs: they start after the fundamentals have been attained. Or have they? Are they reflecting the progress our country is achieveing? Why are sooraj barjatya’s movies outdated? Why is a robbery by blind men more of a plot than a bride getting burnt? Are we just trying to be creative and not repeat the same masala? Is that not affecting the mindset of the society? Or are we really changing? Will we ever get back that innocence? amol palekar. I think he’s the king of simplicity- his movies make me want to live back then, when people could be trusted, when independence was not the aim of one’s life.

Is it really a small world? There are lots of incidents that affirm the faith. There are also a lot of facts that do not let us believe. Really, some things are totally upto us. We cannot control occurances; but we can choose to expect them, or be surprised. Which is better? What is ‘better’?

It’s been crazy this week- full day for 5 days, and an additional class on the sixth. It’s not that there’s no “time”, but I miss the ‘day’ part of the day. I come home at 5 if I leave college immediately after class, and by the time I look here and there, its dark. I don’t exactly have a problem with the dark, but I miss sitting at my table looking at the fields. I call it my ‘high seat’. Sitting there makes me forget about the ‘deadlines’. Sitting there makes me want to explore at leisure. Chill. Make a study model. Paint. Read. But of course, soon it’s going to be dark. I miss the holidays.

I think the people of my class (or at least a majority of them) have finally discovered the computer. Graphic skills. Photoshop. Jpeg. Images. Cad to revit. 3d-max to rhino. Nice. Ive been opened to the world of erasable lines too. It’s fun. And easy. But I still cannot think on the computer. Not that anybody is asking me to, I can always sketch. In the head, cad seems easier. I’m afraid of being so dependent on something.

How is a design process initiated? What are we expected to do or start with? The design faculty we have been dealing with for the past semesters has had strong yet varied ideas of a design ‘start’. Not even once have we agreed with them. No, I think once, just once. When prashanth sir was our lecturer. That design interaction and learing, I think, has been the most effective and exciting way of the beginning, progress, and completion of a design problem. What is the aim of a first desk review? To put forward the general wanderings of the mind with respect to an aspect of the problem, or is it the fundamental laying down of logistics, and starting with arriving at a site in a complex? Are we expected to come up with a ‘concept’ three days after the program was given? A concept is an idea; it has to strike. Maybe it’s foolish to just wait for an idea to strike. But then what’s the point of a desk review of a project, which provides general information? I think I can go on and on. Wht’s the point? I have to have something on paper to show them for the next design class. It’s the same story. Every semester. Is this the way to learn architecture? Or is it the way to learn architecture?

It is inevitable. It is progress. Watch monalisa smile, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. The loud cry of ‘culture’, ‘society’ and stuff that we keep defending India with, is about to vanish. The substance is about to be lost, and we must accept it. Why is every girl in our country married before 25 years of age? Society. Culture. That’s what we say. It’s changing. It is freedom. It’s funny, the way its meaning changes with progress. I think the American society looks at us like we are far behind, under developed..we look at them as they are too different. They are not different; they are forward. We’re on our way there. We must accept that. Multiple marriages, self centered lives. We have been living our lives for others all these years- parents live to give birth to their kids, and the kids live to continue that. The woman lives for the upbringing of her children, and the father lives to feed them. The children grow up to fulfill their duties- continue their father’s life. Suddenly when one such kid stands up and says I want to be an engineer and not a farmer, he’s a traitor. He used to be. It’s beginning to be accepted these days- the children do what they want to do, u cannot decide for them. Parents are left where they are because the kid starts living not for them, but for himself. Tomorrow, the Indian woman is going to live for herself. It is inevitable. Is it freedom? Is it progress?

I wonder if I should create a blog. Im curious to see if people are curious enough to read my blog as it is today- a jumble of thoughts. Maybe I’ll be one more blog for people to pass by till they click on ‘next blog’. I dunno.

The wires at the backside of my computer create quite a maze...a dirty one, too...covered with dust..Sometimes I wonder how India would be without dust. No visible earth. No dharti. I don’t know whether I would like that. I’m still on the hunt for things that create a feeling of indianness.

They said provide excess storage to avoid clutter. I think there is more than excess storage facility in my room. Yet it is eternally cluttered. I don’t get it. What does ‘clutter’ mean? Things lying around on the bed? Or just about anything out of its place? Wht if something does not have an assigned place? Like my cell phone? Or my jacket?

Ive been thinking about the character of the clothes that I wear. What is it that makes them my clothes? What is ‘me’? What kind of character do I want my clothes to have? Indian? Contemporary Indian? Modern Indian? Comfortable? My clothes today are a collection of colours that seem ‘comfortable’ to my eyes. I never buy things that ive seen a model wear. I have clothes ranging from ‘truly Indian goody girl’ to ‘comfortable contemporary international woman’. What am I? What do I want to be?

What’s with the night and panic for every Indian woman? Why are we made to fear the dark? Why does 7pm go hand in hand with “GET THE HELL HOME AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!”? Does this time address more to the Indian housewife who is supposed to be at home before her husband gets there? Or is it addressing the undeniable fact that we are, after all, women; and that we aren’t safe outside in the night? This argument is beyond the point of injustice- im asking for reasoning. Why don’t we shift our timings so that the sun rises at 8 and sets at 9? Wouldn’t that prove to be a lot more productive and livable? How about daylight savings? Or is it that we attach too much sentiment with the ‘rising of the sun’ and cannot think of it as something that can be humanly modified? We’re still living in the tenth century.

I dont usually finish up all my pocket money for a month.. I keep some for the petrol till the last day...like i had a hundred for today but i didnt need it. So i treated myself to some ice cream...i dont think u know, but i eat ice cream very often, and alone. Everybody else thinks its crazy to eat alone, but i think it's a nice experience. I love the startled looks on people's faces...i usually give them looks like "hello, is something the matter?" hehe.... Life’s good fun...