Monday, January 14, 2008

I am writing after a very long time. A lot of things have happened; a lot has come to pass. I remember writing a ‘To think about’ list on the front page of my universal book- Thesis topic, Internship, ‘aim’ in life, further studies, etc. It all happened suddenly; one thing followed another, and now its time to look back. Well, almost. I am two weeks away from my thesis viva, secured a place in one of the most coveted firms in Bangalore, have a certain agenda chalked out, and am actually thinking about masters. Not bad. Come to think of it, I don’t think there was any other way for it to be, other than ‘not bad’.


People say I have changed; I think I can feel it myself. Smitha thinks it’s because there are so many things going on in my life that I am not handling all the load well.. I have grown quieter; I don’t need ‘friends’ anymore- I think I have gotten used to being alone. Yeah. I remember telling Mudasir that I wanted to stop laughing as much; I use to laugh a little too much. Change is good, they say.


It’s heartbreaking to not be understood by your own.


To be well read does not demand specifics; yet most ‘well read’ people seem to be blissfully oblivious of major chunks of society. Why is this world so huge? Why does it seem impossible these days, to be a Michelangelo? Why does even the idea seem ridiculous? I want to be a Leonardo Da Vinci - painter, sculptor, architect, scientist, mathematician, everything! I didn’t want to choose between physics and architecture; I had to. And now I am at a point where I cannot think of going back- maybe it’s the ‘structured-ness’ of education that’s taking up my life- ‘self-taught’ has been forced extinct.

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