I saw a couple of books today- ‘how to draw in fashion design’, and ‘textile design and fall of materials in fashion’. I think I am going to be buying them. It’s such a great feeling to be earning money. These books will be my home study. I guess this is what I can do at most- I cannot study everything although I am interested in it all. I cannot go to college till the end of my life; but then this would mean being busier. Hmm...

In my life till now, I have been doing it all. Playing volleyball, studying for exams, participating in competitions, organizing events, spending time with family, stitching, making paper, traveling, et al. But recently, it has been too much. So much, that I have to begin to prioritize; some things are more important. I am still doing them all, but am not expecting the world from them all. I have seen important relationships go weak due to lack of quality time given to them; I am half there already, and its time I turned around. My cousins are important to me; I want my children to have a secure and lovable family. Look at the gujjus. This against the attendance of one semester of one year of graduate degree in my entire life. What is priority? My brother’s wedding. A one time syndrome. Togetherness. Rituals. Family. Fun. Memories of a lifetime are made at weddings. Any Indian’s single most important day is her wedding day. This against one design studio in my undergraduate life. What is priority? Playing volleyball. Those have been the most enjoyable and most memorable moments of my school and college life. I am the captain of the university level team. What do you do when you have a design review the same day as the last volleyball tournament of your life? What is priority? Which would I remember during my last days?

By some good luck of mine, I stumbled across the serial ‘Hum Paanch’ yesterday...was like a breath of fresh air. Madness. The dialogues are not witty; its slap-stick comedy- but the innocence of the characters filled my heart. Beautiful. That mad woman sings her heart out every time she opens the door. ‘Dada’, ‘Bhai’. Hehe...the attempt is honest; there is no faking or saas-bahu involved. And yes, its Ekta Kapoor. She started this way. Where has she chosen to end up? Why?

I went with the driver today to pick up smitha from work. It felt like I visited an entirely new city. Not because the city looked or felt different (every single city in the world today looks and feels the same), but because we passed a lot of farmland before the city emerged again. It was kind of surreal; watching all the building activity against the farms- from an air conditioned environment- felt like someone was showing me a movie..a movie showcasing change that human settlements bring to the earth. We’re doing quite the harm.. if we observe, the most significant thing that development kills is anything natural- to make way for the artificial. Trees, soil, earth, land, sky, climate, rain, temperature, air, the atmosphere. We’re changing it all. We must do something.