I had an interesting conversation with a stranger today. I heard his voice first, impatiently trying to be calm- and making an effort (in vain, it looked to me-) to make his junior at work understand the importance of time. Smartly dressed and waiting for his turn in the queue to drop off his vehicle for servicing, I gathered that he was having a rough morning. ‘Monday mornings are the worst-’, he said in a very bad attempt at keeping his anger within controllable levels. Poor chap. Looked like he had a LOT of work to finish this morning, and he could NOT accept that he was standing here in the mad queue instead. He could not believe what was happening-did not WANT to believe, actually- when a couple of guys jumped the queue- I could clearly see the disappointment in his voice- ‘What’s the use of having a system, if we don’t follow it??’...This is what happens everywhere; this is India. It is a land where people do not 'succumb' to rules...the average intelligence level of a general citizen is higher- people think it an insult to be told to ‘follow’. Everyone uses his own cunningness to escape/ surpass; everyone finds a way. The ones who wait are the ones who care. I think we should just give it the time.

Yesterday I went to BDA complex in banashankari after a long time. We used to go there as kids- my brother and I used to slide down the thick walls along the steps. Those days the place was very under-developed; much like what the HSR layout complex stands today. We used to walk all the way there -every night- the one hour of load shedding (dunno exact spelling, hehe..) time well spent- looking at the Barbie dolls on the display panels, watching the excited faces of kids on small rides, observing the guy in the flower shop making a bouquet while my parents bought vegetables, trying to get dad to buy us gems without actually saying it- for the fear of being yelled at; and thinking of how to overtake my brother’s walk on the way back home...We celebrated the opening of every new shop in the deserted complex... It was like a victory of a bizarre kind...Small things used to lift our spirits; we didn’t need to watch movies or buy clothes we could not afford. Some things change, some don’t.

I have to learn to ‘let go’. I tend to think and re-think about small matters; things that don’t matter that much- things that some don’t even recognize. Also, I must stop expecting things from people. It will probably take off a LOT of junk from my brain. But then again, I would hate it if people didn’t expect anything from me. I would be dissapointed if people I am close to didn’t care if I was good at something or not- and if I sucked at something or not... I think how much is expected of you is directly proportional to how much you are cared for. Maybe.