I think I think a lot. I’ve been told that- a lot of times. Even that parrot-astrologer team said that I think “too much”. Hehe...also, I ask a lot of questions. Apparently I’m very moody. I didn’t know that. Till I became moody. Or so I believe. If it is that I have always been moody, it just reminds me of the things that I am, and not know of. I have never really known myself- bhavana has, though. She wrote ‘moodiest person I know’ in one of the greeting cards she gifted me-ages before I knew I was a moody person. I frowned innocently at that phrase then, but now I know. I wonder if my mother knows me. I wonder if I’m different with my friends than I am at home. I don’t know. I wonder if this has anything got to do with the fact that I’m a Gemini. Feels good to have an excuse :)

Yesterday I suddenly remembered my late night walks with mama. My legs would cry- trying to hold up my weight- but it was worth it. Those were the times that I actually spoke to him- he was himself- free and fun- the one person I miss a lot in my life. He was the person back then who made the effort to pretend to/ actually take me seriously. He expects something of me, and when I am with him, I believe I can do it. He is one person very, very, very difficult to impress, or be complimented by, and I will always remember that he gave me an A+ when I asked him to ‘critique’ me. Of course, after that he told me one million things that I might go wrong with in my life- but I believed that I could overcome them because he believed I could. Wow. A strong burst of warmth comes to my heart every time I think of him.

I feel like I am already one generation behind the youngsters of today. Or rather, they are one generation ahead of me. It’s rather irritating to see where people of Bangalore are headed- attitude wise. School kids are corrupted. Latest I heard- kids of class 8 place mirrors on the floor at girl’s desks. You know what I did when I was in class 8?? I looked like a maid servant’s daughter, sang happily in the corridors, played dumb charades in class, and participated in the rangoli competition. What’s happening today? Make-up. Waxing. Razor hair-cut. Style. Sex. Yes, I have heard school kids use that word in a manner that even I will not. They’re 14 years old for god’s sake! How did we come to this? Is this what ‘metropolitan’ means? Is this what ‘smart kid’ means? Kids bunking school to watch a movie at pvr! I think the worst thing still is the fact that we cannot do anything. When children grow up in an environment where life is expensive and they can afford it, I think it’s the worst thing that can happen to them. I didn’t know the meaning of the rudest words in the English language till about 6 months back. I used to wonder if I was embarrassing to others- worst even- to me. Not anymore.

My friend recently gifted me a tinkle. I felt so warm. I wonder if the stories in the tinkle have changed. I still remember a few stories from the tinkles I read when I was a kid. The tsunami one, the one where the rich guy teaches the poor guy how to fish instead of giving him a fish to eat, the one about a boy with butter fingers, the suppandi ones, and so many more. I think we adults should once in a while go back to such simple activites of our childhood. It helps understand where we stand today, and remind ourselves that everything can be simple still. I gifted my brother a bow and arrow made of bamboo on his birthday, and a piece of paper I made for another’s birthday. I just absolutely love making gifts for people. It’s the most inexpensive gift you can give yourself :)