I like observing people, and most of all when a fight breaks out in a group- when everybody is apparently arguing and nobody can make out who is saying what. It is really not that way. It is an amusing thing to study- it gives invaluable insights into the personalities of people involved. In any given group, there are always those who are, with great conviction, putting forth their points of view; but constitute only half of the group. There are others- those who choose to ignore the noise; those who show frustration at the madness; those who can switch off and find something else interesting to do; those who wish they had never come; those who find it all very funny; those who simply walk out; and finally those, who like me, very quietly, observe the scene. What is marvellous, I think, is the fact that every group comprises ALL; and it is this very 'range' that makes life exciting.



I feel like making gifts again; I feel like chattering continuously like I used to- I feel like myself after a long time- I don't know what has changed or how it has changed, but I am sure it has a lot to do with Namrata. The mad woman, she has shocked me with her personality! God help those she is heading towards! :)



I am really bad at writing letters; they demand too much of continuous attention from my volatile brain- I'm not very good with the words either. If I flop as an architect, I won't be able to make it as a second-rate clerk also! Maybe I should try the delivery part of the letters- post office zindabad! hehe...



" जाने ना कहाँ वोह दुनिया है , जाने ना वोह है भी या नहीं - जहाँ मेरी जिंदगी मुझसे इतनी खफा नहीं । "

I am blissfully weird, and I like it. I do mad, unconventional things, things that seem silly and abnormal for my age and 'image'... I hold the handrail up along a staircase not for support, but to feel the material; I like to go to the temples- not to pray, but to hear the silence; I observe and notice the hidden things, while the most visible ones simply miss my eye...I do not remember the type and history of trees even though I am obsessed with greenery, but I know what a tree does to a space and how to use it; I do not remember people by names but by their unique skills- it is a very different way of life, mine- almost as though I do not speak the same language as everyone else. Am I illiterate, then?

I am currently 'unemployed'. It's a wonderful feeling, this- to have secured a killer job, and still have some time to do organised time-pass. I am both scared and elated, nervous and relieved- at the same time! I want to do EVERYTHING in this time; feels like it is indeed the end of this world- and every passing hour, I am desperately trying to fit in another thing into the damn list!

One thing I am DYING to understand is the meaning of ‘love’. The whole world seems to be obsessed with it. It seems to be the very basis of the existence of all mankind; it is one thing everyone experiences, and everyone craves for. And the love you have for your life-partner is the most hyped. Or maybe not. How does one ‘fall’ in love? What is the process? And what does ‘Pyaar kiya nahin jaata, bas ho jaata hai’ mean? Lot of questions. No answers yet.

" Life in mumbai is fast, glamorous, stinky n crowded; it's a great city but a terrible place. "
Let's find out, shall we? :)

Sanjay Mohe makes me want to believe, he makes me want to have faith- in this time of Hafeez Contractor and IT parks. “You have to stand your ground – stand up for what you believe- right from day one.” It is not only now that he can ‘afford’ to refuse vaastu-crazy clients; he has been doing it right from the start. “Once you compromise, it becomes a process of running behind the money,” he says- “Do good work, and then you can choose to have all the money- you will command.”

“Utterly brilliant”. LOVE the adjective! :)

This seems like a fantastic time frame of my life; these are the years that will be most uncertain, curious, and ‘beautiful’. All bollywood songs seem to be written for this age; all definitions seem to reverse- things that we have been asked to stay away from will be expected of us- it is a special kind of transition, I think. I will begin to experience new things; will look at things differently- it is amusing, how ‘coming of age’ changes even the basic way one looks at life. It just makes me realize that I have been living in some kind of a bubble; and am sure when I look back 25 years later, will still be thinking the same! Nice place to be, this.

It is a waste of brilliant weather, this. Staying at home in horror of the bomb blasts. Just when you think its time to remove the jackets from the cupboard, you’re grounded. God, I could NOT be more self-centered!

It’s a very bad idea to watch a movie in Bangalore if you have a cold. That too, without a jacket. Sniff.

“The architecture of Geoffrey Bawa is about the poetry of space. It is about raising one’s spirits to celebrate life. This is realised with a minimum of fuss and no theorizing. It is an absolute experience which is direct and pleasurable. It is about restraint, understatement and quietness...When you sit in one of Bawa’s verandahs, it is always what you see that counts, and rarely the building itself. This idea of ‘formlessness’ is a very curious thing because the whole of western architectural discourse has been about form making.”

It’s a pity to see a person speak his heart out towards someone else’s concern- and not be understood. It’s unfair, really- appalling, almost.

S.U.P.W. Some Useful Period Wasted. Synonymous to Laxmi madam’s class back in school. I think we literally pulled a leg off her body and presented it to her as a 'favorite teacher' award. She seemed quite thrilled by it. She made the most controversial of statements- “There are floods in Assam because the tides (-oh my goodness-) are running backwards”!! The winner, though, is her ‘India map’. You could NOT get her to stop drawing an oddly-shaped elephant on the black board in the form of our own bharat. Ask her why the earth rotates, and she’ll start drawing the India map!

How important was architecture in ‘The Matrix’? Why was the room Neo and Trinity took the guns from, all white? Why was it floorless, windowless, wall-less and roof-less? What is that kind of architecture trying to evoke? If you wanted to sketch that room, how would you? There are no planes, no light and thus no shadow; no furniture, flooring, or roof; no tree, grass or sky. And yet, it is a space. It evokes emotion; it occupies virtual space- it exists in the mind, but it exists. How would you draw it?



It was a moment; and as a moment I shall remember it- it is amusing how we recall times we live in real-time as snap shots; photographs, almost. That photo is surreal, as are all we tend to remember- light flooding in from behind her, and bringing along with it a huge gust of wind- I will remember it as a muted detail- I do not recall what we were giggling about; only that we were giggling...“We always romanticize the past and dramatize the future, but never express the present”, Sanjay Mohe told me- it is a mighty detail that goes unnoticed...Every single moment, every photograph, every conversation in Mindspace has been precious to me- it was the pre-decided romanticism of the past that the future is going to be.



It is not everyday that one gets to watch Sanjay Mohe sketching- and when I did, I wrote this-
I see the big, thick lines covering the site; fast and accurate in thought, they look down into the site...Once the lines rest, the pondering begins- there are views, details and scribbles all in company of the big lines- it is almost as if the small ones scatter around the source- the sheet is rich, heavy, and precious. And this is only the beginning.



I have an abnormally large nose. I think it could easily pass off as a batata-wada. Also, the centreline of my nose and that of my face do not coincide- much like the difference between the magnetic and rotating axes of the earth- manufacturing defects, they are. :)

It was raining most of last night - it was god's way of keeping the night awake , I think - it was keeping me company . . .


I've been travelling like mad - five different cities over three trips in three weeks - not bad , eh ? I wonder how long I can be floating around like this - sooner or later I am going to have to 'settle down'. Aarrghh - I don't think I even like the sound of that !


' You can know too much , but you might not know enough. '


Mehendi is a funny thing ; I cannot stop being amused by how its contact with a surface leaves behind such a beautifully coloured mark - something that cannot be transferred , modified or replicated - shows up to brighten up the entire palm , and then quietly vanishes into oblivion . . .


I simply love Varun ; he has recently shocked me with his emotional growth - I think Pratibha has done him a world of good . . . He's the only one I can say has 'lasted the years' - everyone else has faded - slowly , but steadily . . . Varun is still as wonderfully weird as he has always been - I don't think it can be taken out of him - I cannot imagine him without the silly jokes , mad faces , bizarre body language or the sunky reactions - but what is important is that he's so much more than that now; deeper , I would say - noone can simply write him off anymore - it has been wonderful to watch him as the years have passed - hope to continue for many more !

'What you are is so loud that I cannot hear what you're saying . . . '


It is amusing how we cannot see the wind ; only what it does to things we can see . . . It is wonderful, really- different things respond differently to the same source- it is the rich detailing in nature that makes for such wonderful layering ; and look at us , trying to unify it all !


Every time there is a question about myself that I cannot get around , I look into my blog ; it gives me hints , directions . . . There are things in there I never knew - things that I didn't intend to pen down but did involuntarily ; every time I read it I find something new , something I didn't know about myself - just like every building I see - what we actually see of the things visible to us varies with time . . . It's a part of the 'keep-learning-all-your-life' theory - endless , immeasurable ,and precious . . .


Every time I visit a new city , I take a video along the streets while I travel within the city - I think it's an excellent way of capturing the various sounds , colours , people , language , infrastructure , and fundamental landscape of the city - all in one shot . . . Believe me , they can be shockingly different from one another - I'm documenting the world in a small way - Someday I'm going to sell it for a killer price ! He he . . .

'Roti , kapda , aur makaan' have been our understanding of the fundamentals in life ; bollywood-wise, too . . We're 'progressing' now - network , electric energy , and internet . . We've taken for granted the primary ; we're in the second circle now . . I wonder what the third circle is going to be - companionship , 'happiness' and love ?


Only the fortunate get sleep whenever they want to . . .Like me ! He he he . . . I can sleep anywhere , anytime , irrespective of location - it's god's way of loving me ! :-)


It is very , very difficult to surprise me ; i am too curious for that . . . But i cannot stop being amused by a certain friend of mine who has surprised me , over and over again , in newer and newer ways . . Maybe it's easier for those you don't expect absolutely anything from to catch you off-guard . . Those in the inner-most circle have to try harder and are easiest to catch red-handed . . A lot also depends on the Want to surprise . . Hmmm . . .


I'm writing this post from my mobile phone , lying down, watching TV and thinking at the same time . . . 'Technology' , they say it is . . . I'm loving it !

The concept of potential energy has always amused me; the idea that there exists something ‘physical’ that cannot be seen is so bizarre..But then there are instances during our daily routines which suddenly hit you- they leave you thinking that maybe that’s what hidden energy must be like..Yesterday while lighting the incense stick in front of the idol of God, I realized that if you slowly move the tip of the stick in a vertical line downward in the same line as the tip of the flame of the oil lamp, the incense stick gets ignited before it physically meets the flame- it’s such a powerful revelation! I cannot stop thinking about it; it has the capacity to arouse, elevate!

Talking about night-outs being a normal syndrome for an architect, I was showing off to my grandfather- “It’s a lot of hard work-”...He then recollected the one time he had stayed up all night- and the funniest thing, I thought, was that my grandmother was listening intently, too! She hadn’t heard this! Can you believe it? They’ve been together 50 years now, and there are things still, that they do not know about each other! They say one lifetime is not enough to know a person; it’s so true!

How important is it to have a good ‘general’ knowledge? What is the purpose of being ‘aware’? Is it a good way of understanding where you stand in relation to everyone else? Is it a good base for communication skills? How is it going to matter to me, whether or not the governor of Karnataka addresses the joint session of the assembly in the sixth decade of the Indian independence?? I mean, how is this going to make my life what it is?

It’s time for a line. A line that demarcates my understanding of the self. A line that starts to define how I am. A line that decides what I want to be. “You are what you want to be”, someone once said. I am beginning to believe.

Infrastructure can create warmth, and industrialization can bring beauty. I thought otherwise till today. We as architects have forever been cursing the ill effects that technology brings- but I realized today that we’ve been too busy to recognize and appreciate its hidden side. While navigating through the good-old-traffic-jam at hosur road this morning, it hit me- we don’t always need trees to create shadow and relief from the maddening sun; the elevated highway blesses, too. Funny.

I have come to realize that architecture has shown me a path of creative freedom, a different form of expression. In this very process, I think, I have let go of some of the ‘intellectual’ that I used to be. If someone asks me a riddle, my mind comes up with alternate answers- creative, but alternate- I am not answering the question. It’s a little disappointing.

Spirituality, in my head, until recently, was a vague mass of un-definable thoughts; spirituality was something that cannot be categorized or broken down- it was simply a direction of thought. But after a few inspiring talks with Medappa, I am beginning to give it a shape, a structure; I understand what its basic intent is, what it envelopes, and what it comprises of. “It is a science”, they say- I do not yet understand why then, there is still no unified theory. Somewhere, something is left unattended, I think.

" गुरु गोबीन्द दोउ खड़े कके मागु पाय,

बलीहारी गुरु आपने गोबीन्द दीयो बताय। "

I understand now, more than ever, what this means. Kabir rocks! :)

"अगर भगवान् हमें जोडियों में बनाते हैं, तो क्या तुम्हे अपने जुडवे भाई का नाम मालूम है??"


I love graphs. They are such simple, yet accurate form of representation of data. I think they should be used more extensively; my brother and I once argued about the 'achievement' of the human race over time, with the help of a graph. He drew an exponential curve upwards with time, and I drew a straight line parallel to the horizontal axis, although with a certain offset. I don't remember how we came about discussing it, or even how it ended; only that it made a difference to my process of thinking..If my thought process was an algorithm, that argument made it efficient, I think. Loo-oo-oong way to go still.


To make someone want to do something good for themselves, or to inspire them to stir, is such a rare quality. I want to have it.


"There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has arrived."

“Economics, at its core, is the study of incentives.” I likes! :)

Recently I have been asked the most fundamental of questions- about myself- my basic aim, interests, and path of life- and I have been digging through myself for the answers.. Suddenly it feels like I’m all grown up; feels like its time I know and manage it all- feels like I must act responsibly.. It is not about my life alone anymore- I am beginning to affect another’s life, too. It feels strange; abnormal, somehow- I don’t feel like staying here- I want to go and eat ice cream! Something new is on my shoulder, and it will remain there for the rest of my life... I am not complaining; I am simply amused by what time brings us- new sets of glasses every few years!

I was reading through the earliest posts of my blog yesterday, and I found so many errors- grammatical and otherwise- and my immediate reaction was to correct them; but then again, I realized that this is never ending- I will constantly be recognizing mistakes over time... I guess this is what it means to be learning all your life- to keep upgrading the scale of measurement of skill and quality.. Even Sanjay Mohe keeps recognizing lines he should have changed, spaces he should have dealt with differently.. This means, though, that we can never be satisfied with ourselves till the very end, when there is no more time to learn. Not a stable mental condition, is it?

They say one does not get everything in life. To understand what is more important and move accordingly, is being mature. Mighty difficult, I must say!

“ Optimist, creative, self-made, ambitious, respectful, caring, cheerful & most important her rustic kannada (trust me even my maid servant can speak better! These are some of the traits that were, and will be, eternally associated with Amrita. The kind of importance she attaches to simple things in life (like our every-sunday-lalbagh-jogging or khara-baath or 'Corner House uncle') just goes to say how much she likes to celebrate every single moment of her life. A born 'talk'aholic and definitely a people's woman, it would never be hard for a stranger to instantly pick up an exciting chat with her. She detests judging people and this lets one be his/her self while talking to her. Wishing her all luck & happiness in life ...cheers! ”

I was amused by an advertisement on a big hoarding today- someone trying to sell a platinum ring, showcasing it as ‘very rare, very you’, and trying to reach out to an entire city! Does nobody else see the irony here? ‘rare’. And they want the entire country to buy it. Huh.

Red ‘goes’ with everything. I like the effect it creates- it is both bold and dangerous at the same time; creates interest and caution simultaneously- stands out immediately. I would never wear a green shirt thinking it was ‘bright’, but red- anytime. :)

Do mosquitoes breathe?

I was reading the editorial of the newest India today where he talks of how shallow the word ‘great’ has become. How often and lightly we throw it around; and I completely agree. ‘Great is a highly overused term in today’s inflationary India. It could be a victory against Australia. A speech at a political rally, or even a movie at a multiplex. In this cacophony, perhaps it is time to pause on the nature of greatness.’ I think we all agree. The measurement system for human intelligence, talent and work has deviated- it’s a whole new scale- maybe there is a need to redefine today.

I simply love Anju atya. I don’t know why, but I told her that she has been ‘wasting’ her skill all these years- what with family issues and all. I keep thinking that she could have been something; she could have made a big impact with that kind of talent. But when I saw monalisa smile (again) today, I realized I must not be so quick to access- “I know exactly what I am doing, and it does not make me any less smart! You stand in class and ask us to look beyond the image, but you don’t. To you, a housewife is someone who has sold her soul; someone who has no depth, no intellect, no interests-”. Hmm...

With what we call ‘advancement in technology’, arrive newer problems- let’s take the case of cameras. Earlier, we had film roll cameras- the number was finite, and the process of converting them to something we can see was tedious. Now, we all have digital cameras; each image can be viewed almost immediately, and there is no limit. But we have a new problem. The battery. These are very expensive, and recharging them is a tedious process. The battery life lowers over the years, and they simply give way sometimes. With development, come developed problems- it’s almost as if they must co-exist; and I think that the problems have become more and more unexplainable over the years. Is sweating of the hand while you ink a more understandable problem than a virus erasing your entire drawing? Yes. More unexplainable, more irritating- more irritating, more unusable. Does that mean we have to get back to drafting?

To the times we never make an effort to remember, and to those very times, that we cannot get ourselves to forget- cheers!

It’s been a huge ride, this- B.Arch has given me one hell of an experience; every high and low one can think of. I have travelled the country, been understood and misunderstood, felt lonely and crowded, been written off and hailed to glory, been invisible and recognized- all at the same time. When work was crap, I was into volleyball- there I was ‘famous’; everybody knew and wanted to know me. When I got back into the studio, I was invisible again; nobody cared. It was a funny ride; memorable nonetheless- time well spent.

I have realized recently that everything in life is a phase. Everything comes to pass. No phase repeats; there is no absolute truth- no absolute value. Nothing remains from one to another; only memories, and those too, if you allow them. I seem to be a different person in each phase; different circumstances that define the phase seem to define me, too. Right now, I am standing at the end of one; I am waiting for another to begin. Something is missing; something is out of place. There are a few people who try to smuggle themselves into more than a phase; they are amused by the difference in me. I do not understand- feel like I am at the hands of some absurd power that I cannot see; something that makes ‘life’ what it is. I don’t know how to understand this word- ‘life’; maybe it’s a string of continuous phases- maybe the only thing common with all these phases is in fact, life itself.

Today I was asked to design a farm house for a family friend, and for a bizarre ten seconds, I sensed a void in me- felt like I was asked to ‘design’ after a long time. Felt like asking a fundamental question- felt like looking up the meaning.. I felt something similar when we were asked to ‘study’ for first semester structures- I had forgotten how to ‘study’. That was amusing, but this is dangerous.

“Imagination is primary; knowledge is secondary।”

When I am overwhelmed with emotion and don’t know what to do with it, I write. I don’t know where the words come from; it’s almost like I am in a sub-conscious state- nice state to be in! hehe... I have never really been able to pin down the source of what we call ‘ideas’- where do they come from? And why do they arrive like a hurricane in the head, and leave us all excited? What is it? Is it a function of one’s persona? Then why is unexplainable? Is it a ‘property’?

There are some people that you come across in life, and they never leave you the same. All they have to do is be themselves; and their impact on us is un-imaginary, unparalleled. Its amusing, really- it’s very, very rare; I am glad for the existence of these... one such is a colleague- shiny. You just have to be with her for ten minutes, and you immediately feel like putting her in a glass box to safeguard her; she is too precious to be lost into this world- although it is this very world that made her. She gives me hope- to be appreciated for what you are; and not evaluated at the same scale as the rest of the world. Patri se hatke bahut kam log soch paate hain- kho na jaayen ye- tare zameen par.

I have experienced the purest and deepest form of friendship once; something that I will cherish all my life... Time, though, is slowly etching off the soft memory; soon it will be a story I tell my disinterested grandchildren...I have realized, lately, that nobody really cares. Nobody really wants to know the depths of a person anymore; nobody understands either. Memories and how they make that person are meant for that person alone. Maybe except your parents. I do not know where they get it from- the unconditional concern and love; I cannot ever see myself being as selfless. Ever.

I like writing about writing, reading about reading, and talking about talking. Nobody does that. I remember doing something similar in a ‘creative’ writing competition in school- I ‘creatively’ wrote about creative writing! I narrated a story of two teachers in school judging a creative writing competition, and how they didn’t understand an entry which ‘creatively’ wrote about creative writing. Hehe... I had SO much fun writing it; I made that particular entry win the first prize in my story- ‘creative’, don’t you think? hehe...

I read an interesting editorial the other day; it spoke of how architecture, more than anything else, is about conviction. It spoke of how ‘accountability’ of built ceases to be entertained once the building is complete. “Where is the factor of responsibility for what one has built post its being built? It seems enough for the architect to have just ‘built’. Period. In their blinkered path to being responsible for their architecture, architects find comfort behind ignorant clients. Historically, true architecture has always been dependant on the conviction in design of its creator. It is this conviction that makes the Taj what it is.”

It is funny how we’re so attached to certain things; I have this over sized sweater that I cannot seem to let go of- It’s my dad’s sweater, and I wear it every evening at home for the colder half of the year. Must wash it sometime, eh? :)

I just finished the last paper of B.Arch today. CA902- Architectural Design- 18 hours, completed in three sittings of 6 hours each. Sounds scary, eh? Hehe... It was fun. Design exams for me are always ‘walk-in’; a good clear (empty) head is the ‘preparation’. :)

Ants retrace the same locus in return mode. I do, too. I don’t know why.

Australian Open has begun. It’s the same problem every year- starts just when you realize there is no time to watch TV. Or rather there should be no time to watch TV. I remember Akhila cribbing about this very thing years ago, when I was helping her with her thesis work. Wonderful lady, Akhila. She’s so warm and friendly; “ANY doubts, you can always call me”, she assures me every time I call. She was the one who asked me to apply to Mindspace; I owe it to her, this entire internship success. It makes me want to be a good senior to my junior. I must treat her some day.

If you draw a graph of the life of a rechargeable battery versus the number of times it is (re)charged, it’s an exponential curve; and at one point, the life simply reduces to a minimum. I have had the same experience with my cell, camera and cordless phone. I would rather buy a new battery rather than re-re-re-re-recharge it and have a life of two minutes. Hu-uh.

I am writing after a very long time. A lot of things have happened; a lot has come to pass. I remember writing a ‘To think about’ list on the front page of my universal book- Thesis topic, Internship, ‘aim’ in life, further studies, etc. It all happened suddenly; one thing followed another, and now its time to look back. Well, almost. I am two weeks away from my thesis viva, secured a place in one of the most coveted firms in Bangalore, have a certain agenda chalked out, and am actually thinking about masters. Not bad. Come to think of it, I don’t think there was any other way for it to be, other than ‘not bad’.

People say I have changed; I think I can feel it myself. Smitha thinks it’s because there are so many things going on in my life that I am not handling all the load well.. I have grown quieter; I don’t need ‘friends’ anymore- I think I have gotten used to being alone. Yeah. I remember telling Mudasir that I wanted to stop laughing as much; I use to laugh a little too much. Change is good, they say.

It’s heartbreaking to not be understood by your own.

To be well read does not demand specifics; yet most ‘well read’ people seem to be blissfully oblivious of major chunks of society. Why is this world so huge? Why does it seem impossible these days, to be a Michelangelo? Why does even the idea seem ridiculous? I want to be a Leonardo Da Vinci - painter, sculptor, architect, scientist, mathematician, everything! I didn’t want to choose between physics and architecture; I had to. And now I am at a point where I cannot think of going back- maybe it’s the ‘structured-ness’ of education that’s taking up my life- ‘self-taught’ has been forced extinct.

I am addicted to Vaseline.

I am totally amused by the way my brother looks at things. His glasses are so analytical; ‘everything has a logical explanation behind it’...Why is the right striker in football paid higher than the one on the left? Why are female models paid higher than the male? Why is cost a good indication of things? Why does the market act in a manner that it does? EVERYTHING has a logical explanation; I am beginning to understand it. It is one of the boons of having a psycho genius for a brother.

I saw the advertisement of TATA TISKON STEEL on my way back home the other day; the concept was simple- they used comparison. 90 percent of the ad area was covered by the image of a pretty girl; introducing her, and adding below that being a fitness freak, her ‘weak point’ is fried food. Then, in a small strip of space left over at the bottom right corner, there was an image of a steel rod, announcing that this did not have any ‘weak point’. See now, I understand the idea, but it is not that effective, somehow. It feels like it was a good try at an ad; something that missed the cross hair. Wonder how differently they could have presented the same idea.

The whole world seems to want to lose weight. I, for one, don’t understand how ‘not eating’ is an option for our bodies. Personally, I cannot seem to get around it. I am addicted to food; for me, ‘not eating’ is not an option that works. Because I can’t not eat. Just can’t.