I went to Deepak (my tailor) today for ‘tailoring class’. I want to learn how to cut cloth- so I went to the one person who I know can. It’s not easy to be around him- it’s like an eternal state of panic; he has submission every hour! In one minute’s time, he cuts the sleeves for a dress that is already into stitching, receives two phone calls- one from angry auntie asking for due date; and the other from anxious auntie asking for her lost material, yells at his assistant for not shrinking the lining cloth, attends to a customer looking for directions, and receives a delivery from the embroidery department. Phew. And this is what he does every minute of the day. Psycho. And I went up to him asking for tailoring ‘lessons’. Hehe...All I could do was to sit in front of him, and somehow, learn something on his way to make ends meet. I learnt a lot, though. Only he’s too fast for me to register everything in just one sitting. I hope to go back- next week. Hard life, it is.

Lot of time on hand these days...somehow when you have plenty of it, time does seem to not accommodate 2000 things; I hardly realize how an entire day goes away in just lounging about in the house. When I think of all that I managed to do in the same time span last year, it amuses me.

I have started posting in my blog every alternate day. But when I write in my diary, I don’t write with the intent of posting it all; I constantly remind myself that it is my diary, and I will write whatever I feel like writing in it- the blog is just a part of the diary. I think that’s why there is no pressure when I am typing; I am still writing with the same ‘innocence’ as before. And also the fact that my blog is not real-time with my diary helps, too.

Some time back, on my way to college, I saw this poster on the rear glass of a car- ‘My wife keeps saying that I never listen to what she says...or something like that.’ Hahaha...I laughed all the way to college that day; felt so cheerful- the traffic didn’t bother me at all. Humor is such a wonderful gift.

I always wanted to be 5’8” tall. Just missed it. One inch. Tch tch. Come to think of it, I don’t remember having too many ‘I want to be’s as a child. Only the height thing. No, not even ‘I want to be rich!’. Not as badly as I wanted to be tall. Hehe...

Back in pre-university, some things about physics used to bug me. I used to hate the fact that when something is unexplainable, it becomes a ‘property’. It felt like an excuse or something. Even now, it’s unsettling. Also, I never really understood the theory behind Avogadro’s number. Really.

Why are some people closer to us than others? Why are we more comfortable with certain friends and not so comfortable with some others? Why do we get excited to speak to some people and try to avoid some others? Why do we wait hours for a moment’s time with some and never even for a moment for some others? What distinguishes our relationships with people? Personality only? What if it’s not about personality alone? Like someone once said, ‘Eighty percent of all that you say isn’t coming out of your mouth.’ What is it that makes us feel warm in a certain friend’s presence? How is ‘attraction’ explained? Why do we love some while dislike others? Is it a human ‘property’?

‘Self sufficiency is economic suicide.’

Indian temple history is so exciting. It’s amazing to read all about the beginnings of imagery; the mask that spirit possessions brought to a village, was in fact the origin of the ‘image’ that a temple houses. How the processional ratha (cart) of the last rites of the dead was the starting point of the shikhara/vimana, and how the temple ritual changed from sacrificed blood drinking to smearing of red powder to an idol. How tribal origins and elements were sanskritised, borrowing from the brahmanical north; how the temple structure was a simple implication of the material in use. Beautiful. It feels good to know more about our temples than just to visit them as tourists.

I hate ‘small talk’. It’s extremely irritating when conversation gets shallow; “Oh hi...are you doing good?” “Yes, yes, I am doing well, thanks.” Grrr...

While writing in slam books, I like to write specific things. I like to remember how I interacted with that person, what we spoke about, and how much it meant to me. And when you write a parting message for someone, I think it is important that you be specific. How else will the person remember you? By saying “I had a great time on this trip, and I hope we keep in touch.” ??? Or by saying “I would like to continue the debate we had of socialism Vs capitalism some day...I had great fun imitating sir- you make a terrific partner-in-crime!” I like it when people write specifics in my memory book- I like the one I made in 2 PUC. All wonderful entries; but I like Sandesh’s the best. Very himself- no pretence; no extra colouring for the sake of it- just very true and in-the-face. Vinay’s entry, too.

Most of my friends are boys. It has always been the case- right from primary school all the way till now. I wonder why.

Capitalism. Hmm...

I miss physics. I love physics. The only subject close to it during my architectural education was ‘structures’. In structures we studied the strength of materials; calculated the load carrying capacities of beams, columns, footings, and the various effects of load. It was interesting, but somehow not my idea of physics. Physics is the basic understanding of our surroundings; it is how we are trying to cope up, understand and classify all that is happening next to us. Wonderful. Physics shouldn’t be a textbook. It’s the physical explanation of life; as simple as that. When I was younger, I used to crib while learning the ‘applications’ of all ‘laws’. I understand it now- without application, we wouldn’t be interested in it in the first place. ‘Laws’ are for us to simplify and rationalize; application is the basic aim of study of the subject. Textbooks should be re-written to help understand this.

This is what I wrote for a psycho friend as a parting-gift on behalf of the lalbagh gang... all fiction, mind-(He was moving to a city an hour’s journey from Bangalore :)

“Varun’s life is an entertaining (not for him, but for us) journey with innumerable ‘avatars’ as we call them- having risen from the streets as a beggar to a waiter, all the way up to the inventor of the ‘all new!- table tennis in a squash court’- Varun has seen and done it all. (We all firmly disagree.) This flight to success has seen unprecedented support from all his friends (we all firmly agree) - “It was all because of my friends that I got this far”, he finally admits at gunpoint. He still owes us approximately 200 billion treats at corner house. His mind blowing success has landed him at the front page of ‘no-time’ magazine, the most prestigious offering yet. And to think that it all began with a simple idea (given by architect amrita kulkarni, which he claims as his own) - buy spiky chappals for a birthday gift! Also, the priceless t shirt painted for a friend is on display at the London museum for ‘crap-from-street’, one of the most celebrated museums in the world. “I knew it would be an instant hit the second I stole...err…made it.” His obsession with the ‘foot’ has led to innumerable discoveries of the pig’s foot- (very moving, indeed) Also, his love for the beach helped him prove that sand, in fact, has life. (Although it comes as no surprise that only the sand believes him). In his college days, he claims to have lived the best days of his life- (thanks to us, cause we didn’t kill him-). A passion for modeling speaks- “I’ve always known that the modeling world would kill for material like me-” (sure. Kill, definitely, after suicide!)”

“I have traveled across the length and breadth of India, and I have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. Such wealth I have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such caliber, that I do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage, and therefore, I propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture, for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will lose their self esteem, their native self culture, and they will become what we want them, a truly dominated nation”. This was an address delivered to the British parliament by Lord Macaulay in 1835. (Some say the parliament part is made-up). In any case, we know the truth is not too far from it. The question remains- If we were once so rich, why are we now poor?

I just realized that very often, we use the plural of various physical units in our daily lives. “I ran a hundred metres.”, “I am carrying 3 kgs of rice”, “The lizard is only 11cms long!”. From what I remember, I don’t think SI units have plural(s ?). It is 100m, 8kg, and 11cm. Simple mistakes.

I am addicted to Vaseline. Lip balm, rather. Ice cream, too. Food, rather. :)

The best part of the every Sunday lalbagh walk is the 10km ride to the park. I start at 6 in the morning, and it takes me 25min to reach. Lovely. The sun rises on my way. There are hardly any vehicles on the road...all along the way, the streets are deserted; but it is not dismal- there is life. Somehow, you can feel it- that this place is going to come alive in a couple of hour’s time. Wonderful times. I don’t think I have too many of these left on me- must grab them.

I am so sleepy. I was continuously working on the computer all of yesterday, slept for 2 hours last night, went to college for a review today, after which joined friends to watch a movie.(the movie was sooo bad, I cannot begin-). And now, I am finally back home after a not-so-bad ride on hosur road. But I feel strangely cheerful. This has been a busy day after a long time. I am rather jobless these days because of the free time I get outside just two-days-a-week at college. It’s somehow better to have a million things to do, and never the time to finish it all, than to lay around the house with not much to do. No matter what, this free time that I will enjoy for this semester is something that will never be available to me for the rest of my life(unless I become a housewife)- so for the better or worse, this ‘joblessness’ is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Let’s take in as much air as we can gulp.

I have to find new ways of making trees for my models in design. Every time, I do the same thing- parke kaddi(stick) for the trunk, and thick paper cut-outs for the green. The problem with this is that the tree cannot be perceived in an ant’s eye perspective- there is no volume of green! It is only one horizontal plane resting on top of the vertical stick! Although when photographed from the bird’s eye, the model looks good. I have seen good forms of trees with the weirdest of materials; must try this time. ‘Time’...

I bumped into Vinay and Varun at corner house last week. It was awesome; we’ve been planning to meet for the past year, I think- but something or the other came up. Vinay looks very different now; he’s lost lot of weight, and feels like he’s more comfortable with himself now...But otherwise, he’s the SAME! Goodness, the jokes are the same; I spent more time talking to them than eating ice cream!(which is a BIG ask!) remembering Vinay’s side of PUC was unbelievable fun; he has been upto a lot of things unknown to us nerds. Hehe...

I was recently called ‘bizarrely honest’. I LOVE the adjective! :)

There is nowhere left to go on a weekend. Everywhere you go, it’s crowded- there is nowhere you can go without spending money. And lots of it, on a weekend. Even if you want to meet up with friends to just talk, you have to go to a café or something- no place at first, and once you do get place, there is a line waiting for you to leave. Hate it. I heard recently that some people who just want to catch up with friends, go to graveyards. Spooky. Earlier when we hung out in school, we used to go to each other’s places- chat there for hours together- we knew each other’s parents well, too! I don’t ever remember anything involving money at all!

September is here already! Lots of birthdays in September. Once upon a time I used to dread this month- because it meant that lot of money is about to be spent on joint gifts to all the birthday girls/guys. Not anymore. I don’t think I am going to be buying anybody anything, let alone as a combined gift. No more ‘group’ left.

My dad says that if something has to be famous, it has to have something that everyone wants. It cannot be something YOU want, even if it’s yours, but something THEY want. Can nothing be accepted the way it is?

There is a road in Bangalore called Lavelle Road. I wonder which language this is. What if it means ‘death-trap’ road or something like that in swedish? hehe...

I have started understanding cloth and its characteristics- texture, fall, fineness, drape- its wonderful, really- its almost like it were a living thing. Each texture reacts to the human body differently- and differently altogether to a dining table. God, there are sooo many kinds of fabrics around us; each with its own bracket of usability. Cutting cloth is even more exciting- you can go crazy trying to keep it under control.. I must, must learn the art...

Ironing clothes is such a waste. Within twenty minutes of wear, it is going to crease anyway. Specially these days, when you have to travel the world before you reach the destination. What’s the point? Same with making the bed in the morning. Let alone the point, I see no reference axes.

The word document that I am writing in has a black background. Even all my autocad files have a black background. Somehow they’re easier to work on. What is amazing is that there is only one colour which is just as bright on a white background as it is on a black one. RED. I somehow like the colour. It stands for a lot of things- bold, dangerous, blood, scary, rich, luxury. Luxury and blood are very different responses to the same thing, don’t you think?

Oh my poor mom- how she loves to sing! She also has an incredible knowledge on the subject. The saddest thing, though, is that she just CANNOT sing. No, not at all. Nowhere close. If someone put pitch, tone, and melody into a box, juggle it real hard, and force out the contents within human frequency of hearing, that would be it. Yeah. But I really, really appreciate the honesty with which she ignores our pleas to stop. Hehe...If only God would have given her the voice...tch tch...Well in that sense, God is almost great- gave her the interest, the art of appreciation, the sensitivity of the ear, and also the incredible memory. But no, not the voice. pity.

Che, I miss smitha. She’s sitting in the US- although I am sure she is bored to death~! I miss the energy that she brings to any and everything; she is the most cheerful person I know. She and I have a lot in common- we’re both barking mad, addicted to shopping, complete movie buffs, and always ready to loaf around the city (country, too, mind- if it were a little easier)- we even have the same shoe size! So, basically, when I like a pair of shoes/chappals that I love, I buy them for her. Hehe...

Somebody from U.A.E read my blog. Wow.

I met the creative director of the architecture design team of ISKCON. While shaking his hand, I was amused by how a shake hand is possible only when the palms are mirror images- a shake hand cannot occur with one person’s right hand and another’s left. Now, if a left hander shakes hands with a right hander, one of them has to put forward their wrong hand.(!). Also, if two lefties are to shake hands, will they shake their left hands or the right ones?

The process of ‘analysis’ is seen everywhere. ‘Analyzing the situation’. To analyse something, you need to have focus, an opinion, clarity of thoughts, patience, and sincere intent. I would say it’s an intelligent thing to be able to do. No mugger can analyse. HOD had said once that Varna Dhar had excellent analytical skills. I think this must be an important skill to have to impress- Donald Trump must be looking out for that, too. Well...

I think what knowledge we have of the US is very limited; we can see only one twentieth of the entire picture। Everything that we can see is from tv, or the movies. But if we open our eyes, we can observe a lot of things- learn a lot about the history of their society, too. Monalisa smile. The most spectacular bomb on the image of US today, I think. In an episode of friends, Phoebe says- "In my time(speaking of the 1930s), divorce was not even an option." In another instance, she says out of frustration- "What is this?? 1922, when men used to tell women what to and what not to do??". Ross’s parents pay for half of Ross’s second wedding saying "Never mind the traditions. We have no problems!". Also, good old Britney spears wanting to remain a virgin till her wedding day. That’s where we are now- we will be where they are in a generation’s time. I wonder if the youngest American generation knows its own history।


What amazes me most about India, more than 2 billion other things, is that we are SO diverse! We have 28 states, each with their regional language! How in the universe did we come under ONE banner? We must be ever thankful to Pt। Jawaharlal Nehru- our first Prime Minister। He unified us- spoke of secularity, and gave us dreams, put up our hope of a great nation. His economic plans, though, have been criticised- our status of ‘developing’ still is blamed on him. Nonetheless, his faith in democracy and vision of a unified nation cannot be underestimated- I think we are together still because of him.


My parents, brother and I went to watch a movie at PVR today. We were a little early, so we were waiting outside the lounge. I was generally looking around; it wasn’t very crowded yet- 9 45 on a sunday morning. Leaning against the railing with a free standing poster on the ground to my left, I was checking out the queue at the ticket counters ahead in the distance. Suddenly, I see that some guy has tripped over the free standing board, and narrowly misses bumping into the guy in front of him. He straitens up; walks carefully along the side of the fallen board, and is gone. Everybody behind him is doing the same. With no thought, I walk up to the fallen board, ask the guy walking towards me to stop, pick up the board, and put it back into it’s original state. People are staring at me- as if I just did something weird. I felt like telling them- ‘Apna desh hai, hum nahi saaf karenge to aur kaun karega??’

I am in search for my ‘current favourite colour’. Every semester, I involuntarily choose a particular colour, and I call it the ‘colour of the semester’. All my design sheets, rough papers, borders, even clothing- end up being either the colour, or its tone/tint. I can identify anything that I find from my earlier days in college from its colour. Well, even a cow could.(hehe). Red was my last favourite. These days pink is hitting my eyes a lot.

This cursor in this word file has suddenly shrunk to half its size. It’s irritating, really, when there are things happening on your computer that you cannot explain- worst even- cannot fix. I am planning to work on my thesis design digitally। I must be really careful. Absurd and unheard-of things happen the day before the final review. Wonder why the sandwich always falls with it’s butter side down.

I am absolutely proud of the staff of the Times of India newspaper. ‘Lead India’, their latest initiative, has hit the bulls eye. People have awoken. This is what they have to say to us all:

The last time we decided to do or die, it changed the map of the world.
Today we’ve reached a stage where the eyes of the world are on us again.
So what are we going to ‘do’?
Domination starts with DO.
Today we are in our sixtieth year of independence.
And we’re still happy being called an ‘emerging economy’, a ‘potential’ superpower, or a sleeping tiger.
This must change.
And it’s only possible if some of us dare to be the change.
So let’s stop basking in our glorious past or daydreaming about our great future.
Let’s start be dominating today.
LEAD INDIA.’

Unbelievable, eh? Not anymore. We are coming.

What I like best about the times group is that they have realized that they are not only a machine of paper and ink; they are not simply an agency that makes money from advertisements- they have a social cause. They have to help people help themselves; their position demands it. They cannot live to make money only- they have a nation to awaken. No one is bribing them to take the initiative; they’re not getting any extra money. All they are getting is applause; and God, they deserve it.(I love the logo as well). There are so many more people in the country who are at that place- Rahul Gandhi- he is right there- he must take responsibility. He must stand up. He must come forward. It’s really easy to say, but very, very difficult to do- you have to be able to give up your self, and place the country forward. It has never been easy to be king; the leader lives not for himself, but his people. Expecting too much, are we, in this timeline?

I want to make paper, but its bad timing, I think- so cloudy outside. I need the sun to come and dry the paper so that I can remove it from the frame. Or I need to find a way of transferring the wet cloth-like paper onto another drying medium. I LUUVVV making paper! :)

I met Manasi online today. The mad woman, I wonder what she is doing there in the US. I miss her so much- its cruel that we got to spend so little time together. The irony is that I have ‘known’ her for the last 8 years! Never really hung out with her- not until the Pondicherry trip. She is so crazy...hehe...reminds me of me! She has (after a lot of arguments with absolutely no base) finally agreed to let me design her (future)home, given she can have a bay window॥hehe..SHE IS SO NOT GOING TO HAVE IT! :)

I have something that I call the ‘material museum’ up on the second floor. It consists of the leftovers of all the materials that I used for making models during B.Arch. I love the collection- very surprising to some, pointless to some other. I want to try my hand at carpentry now- I already have a nail gun. There is no place in my room for any of this! Che, I must own a HUGE home in the future, else I will have to keep the paper on the bed and sleep on the floor. Hehe...

“I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad”.

Yesterday I watched a travel show on television where the host(an Indian) travels to Pakistan in search of his dad’s old home. They lived on the other side of the border once; escaped to India a month into the partition- to survive. The host of the show had caught hold of a map of undivided India, and we could see the whole of what once was Punjab. With a simple crease of his nail, he showed us where the international border stands today. Such a simple thing, a curved line. It changed the fate of millions. Tens of thousands were killed. Killed, just because some rich guy in warm clothes sitting on expensive teak in a hill station drew the line on paper. Pakistan, come to think of it, was a part of us once- our brothers; just detached. What caused the hatred were the deaths; and the want to find someone responsible for the deaths- the other country. Even to this day, we hold ‘the other country’ responsible for the tragedy; and vice versa. Who was actually responsible?? Jinnah? ONE SINGLE PERSON?

I am known to be capable of writing round-round, confusing and extremely non-articulate sentences in English language; famous to have the ability to write a thesis for anything, in short. I am trying to not come across as someone to whom not only is the point invisible, but also tries to make it invisible to all. Hehe...Recently I surprised everyone with just four sentences in my thesis synopsis (ironic, is it, now? :)

We keep saying things like ‘You should have value for money’...See now, let’s consider a guy who is earning a lot of money based on his talent and intelligence. Now, if he does spend a fortune on his floaters, why do we look down upon him saying he has no value for money? What does ‘value for money’ imply? Having respect for money? Just because he spends the money, does not mean he has no respect for it. What should ‘respect for money’ imply? Its just that when such a person is viewed with the backdrop of a less fortunate, it seems like a sad story. Somehow the rich chap is turned to the not-so-positive side. I wonder...

I collect all kinds of random, crazy(to the non-creative) stuff all the time. yellow threads, pins with rounded ends, ink pads, metal wires, beads, colourful stones, ribbons, leftover pieces of cloth from my tailor, thermocole balls, needles, clips, pots, wooden handles for bags, shells, carved stamps of wood, sponge, jute threads, etc. When I am buying them, I have no idea where/when/why/how I will be using them. But then, one day dawns when these bits of ‘useless junk’ fit beautifully into an application which has ‘something missing’. Hehe...

I have started looking up universities in India and abroad for further studies. The thing is, I want to end up as a designer, not only an architect- so there are endless things I want to learn. Product, fashion, textile, urban, jewellery, graphic, landscape, interior, management. Hmm...

Getting even a simple thing done from a government facility is such a frustrating experience. More than anything else, the attitude is irritating. The minute you say ‘Govt.’, you know its not going to be easy. The other day my mom and I were in a local bank to draw DDs for my college fee. They flatly refused to do the job saying they were under-staffed. Now who’s problem is that? MINE? Why should I be denied a basic facility because their attitude sucks? When we pleaded with the manager saying it was the question of my studies and that it was urgent, he pounced on us saying everyone here comes with an urgent job. Now how is this my fault? Why is that guy screaming at me?? That’s India. There are two solutions- go the Gandhi way, and shame the guy into doing his work right, or open an account with a private bank. The Gandhian way wastes a lot of your time, but teaches the chap a lesson of a lifetime. Privatization means efficiency, but no one is doing your job fast because they want to, but its all about the money. Humanity is lost; money rules all. Its our choice. I know it- we would all go to the private bank. That’s why we are where we are today.

I love rain. On the way back home in the car yesterday, my eyes suddenly fell on the wipers. They do not have flat edges, but a concave profile. And their locus of movement is also a curve. A 3D curve. Imagine, for all points on the locus of the wiper blade, the curvature of glass has to be constant. That’s crazy meticulous! Are car glasses really designed like that? Maybe the wiper blades have flexible edges.

I am cleaning my room (at least trying to) again. It’s weird, how regularly we have to make efforts to clean the room, while it takes absolutely no effort for it to get dirty in the first place!

Its Saturday morning. Such a good feeling. We’ve started living on weekends. I remember telling smitha once- “Of course it shouldn’t matter if the engagement is on a weekend or not- its an important day in your life, and fixing the date should be more a function of your ease than of the invited guests.” Well, lets just say that things are not so simple anymore. Reminds me of Aurangabad.

Its Lord Krishna time. I have to study his ideologies, study what the ISKCON movement is about- I am designing a temple for ISKCON at kanakpura road, Bangalore. I am sure it will be an extremely interesting experience. While reading about the ISKCON board, I found that most of the top guys there are IITians. Immediately I thought- ‘Che, what a waste of genius..’ But then again, its waste for us. I think for them, its more like ‘being proud to dedicate yourself to the service of humanity..’ Maybe that’s what these Americans think when we Indians return from their top posts to Bharat. We’re proud to receive them; others think it’s a waste of human intelligence- ‘you could have gone places’. Hmm...

I bought a book yesterday- ‘The Social History of Indian Architecture’. Good book, this. It talks about Indian architecture with respect to function rather than style. Style is something everyone talks about. This is the first book of its kind. Rather expensive, though- 995 bucks! I saw another book that I really liked- ‘In style’. Hehe...

One of my ideas that I am proud of is the ‘lalbagh walk’. In a desperate attempt to find a cheap alternative and repetitive destination for catching up with friends, I suggested visiting lalbagh every Sunday morning at 6 30. Kaustubh and I discussed this first, and slowly I made it applicable to the newly found set of mad friends from BMS. They cribbed and cried, but I was what Manasi would call ‘Hitler Rani’(!!). Hehe...Slowly they started turning up- although late every time- but it was awesome fun. We used to pretend that we shed a kilo every week by jogging for a hundred metres. We followed more or less the same route every time- down the main path in the direction of the music- to the glass house- up the hillock- sit down on the stone with the skyline of Bangalore to the right; pretending to take a break from the rigorous workout- and happily walk back to the west gate arguing which cafe to visit for breakfast. We were almost twelve once; was a warm experience. Then most of them left to the US for masters’ degrees. I’d love to go back, but not alone. There has been an attempt, though, to revive the ‘tradition’, but there is no drive. People start giving excuses, and I hate that. Today is one such morning- I am ready to leave home at 6 15 (a little late, I admit), when people started pulling out. Che.

It’s thesis time. They say it is the most important project of your student life. It hasn’t hit me yet, I think. I’m just still unsure, vague, and doubtful. But I am beginning to realize that these thoughts have been in my mind for a long time now. Those of time, and how it effects everything- the idea of evolution with time- and those concerning the most important stamp of a Hindu society- the temple- escaping the fourth dimension still. Why do we build these temples today in hope of equaling them with those in the past? What is a temple of today?

Can a developing city be given architectural direction without being forced upon as law? Can the presence of one building be powerful enough to have following in the city’s smaller architecture? I think it can. Look at Ahmedabad. The staircase of the mill owner’s association is seen all over- it repeats itself in markets, apartments, shopping centres, etc. Its beautiful; makes me smile. Aurangabad. The chaitya arch. I am sure there are more. They give some hope to the city’s individuality in this ‘global’ time. Hmm...Never mind that now..

My brother’s latest craze is writing. He has started writing a blog, and the content is innocently funny. Witty, I could say. Brings out the most visible part of him. He gets around 150 hits everyday. Now that’s awesome. You know, its like this- if you want it done, if you want it to be famous, you have to shout from the roof tops. If you want to be read, you have to advertise. You cannot expect to be noticed if you sit there with what I call ‘modesty’. You cannot just post the url in some shady profile page and expect people to sit up. You have to walk to them. I think I’m not like that. I haven’t asked anybody to read my blog. I have just quietly posted it on my orkut page, and I expect people to miraculously come to know about it, and read it. Somehow I don’t want to be the one millionth person to ask you to “please read my blog”. But then if you want your blog to be read, you actually have to ask people to read it. Advertising. God..

The word file that I am writing this diary in has 36 A4 pages. Phew. I cannot believe I wrote this much. ‘One step at a time’...’बूँद बूँद मिलने से बनता एक दरिया है, बूँद बूँद सागर है, वरना ये सागर कया है. ..’ Maybe I should print this at the end of my life and call it my autobiography. It will be hugely unpopular, I think- endless stories of nothing in particular, written in extremely bad language- ‘pointless wanderings’, as my brother would maybe call it...

to read my brother's blog, click here.

Tomorrow is Nag-Panchami. I don’t know what the exact significance of this festival is- all I know is that its mehendi time! I remember being in Solapur for this festival about ten years back...how much I cried for a bigger mango on my palm! I think I’ve come far now- I draw mehendi on my mom’s hand now- I am the professional. I use cones now; my mom used sticks(parke-kaddi to be precise) then. We used to sit late into the night desperately trying for the mehendi paste to follow the locus created by the stick. Makes me smile.

I like writing in third person. I talk like that, too. Hehe...I love the confused look on the faces opposite mine- talking about the girl next to me, I say directly to her- ‘This girl is driving me crazy!!’ hahaha...fun...

I hate it when people use generic words when asked for an opinion. “What do you think of this design?”—-->“Hmmm...I like it.” Aaargghh. That is the most irritating reply to a question like that. What do you mean, you like it? WHAT about it did you like? I asked you what you thought of it, not if you liked it. Tch tch...

Why does every paragraph, every thought have to have a conclusion? I see that in all thoughts I have penned down, -although digitally- there is always an ending, a conclusion- each one ends with a general question, an analysis, a smile or ‘Hmmm...’. Why? Are we trained to even think in a particular format? See- even this thought seems to have an ending- a philosophical one- throwing a question at humanity! I am unable to finish this paragraph abruptly. There.

I recently finished reading the seventh and final book of the Harry Potter series. I like the way it is woven, but logic falters a bit here and there. My brother thinks the entire concept is very badly thought of. He asked me a simple question- ‘What is the cost of magic?’ Beautiful. Splendid question- the most fundamental flaw I can see. I like reading the books nonetheless; its something else that I read those books for. I wonder if it was my brother’s own question or was it from an article he had read earlier that day. Should one thing, written for one context, be evaluated by another that the thing does not concern?

My volleyball-playing days are over. I feel so sad. Captaining the volleyball team of the best college in the state was the peak of it all, I think. Graduating means saying goodbye to serious sport- practice and tournaments. Kinda depressing. Especially after watching ChakDe India. I cannot imagine how Nutan must be feeling; she was a national level hockey player once. :) I really hope my children love sport as much as my mom and I do- it’s an wonderfully spirited experience- its the best thing that can happen to you at the end of an extremely irritating day with the professors. :)

Why do we all smile while posing for a photograph? Does smiling make everyone look better or what?? Looking good is such an important thing. You cannot escape it. I don’t necessarily mean make-up, but styling, making of a personality. I saw a programme on discovery once- ‘Beautiful people are more easily befriended than others. Children respond better to a good looking person. Beautiful people are more successful than the others. Facts. Hmmm...

I have grown fat. Hehe... I think this is one sentence that has been said most number of times in the history of the language. Or maybe not in the entire history. People were not as obsessed with their weight about a couple of decades ago. This thing of ‘lose weight, keep fit->look good’ mantra is new. :)

My first live project is coming to a close. It’s been one hell of an experience...I’m so lucky to have had this chance at this age. Wow. I cannot explain how it feels to stand under the slab I’ve been imagining all of last year. Cannot explain how it felt to see the first course of the walls being laid. How it feels to give away the thing you have been so attached to, for so long. My first house. My first home. I named it after the lady of the house- it felt so good..Somehow, my parents and relatives do not understand how important this project is to me. My mom does not understand why I visit the site everyday when no work is being done. She doesn’t know why it is so urgent for me to see how much sunlight is being thrown on the floor from the openings. “It’ll be the same amount of light tomorrow also, you can see it then. If it is dark inside, there’s nothing you can do about it now. Leave it, there’s no time now.” I feel so sad that she doesn’t understand the urgency, the obsession...But I guess it’s okay- she’s not an architect herself... I wonder if every architect would feel the same way about his/her project, too.

You should be careful believing people who use superlatives often in their opinions. Everything is either ‘great’, ‘fabulous’, ‘terrible’, or ‘awesome’. How is it even possible?? Are there no grays? When you ask one such dude for a review of a movie, just be sure to dilute everything he says before you believe it. Better still, don’t believe it. I hardly use superlatives.(being on the other end of the spectrum isn’t a good thing, either). Very recently, I used the highest praise English could give me to describe a movie- spectacular. I like the word. It’s like saying ‘period. nothing can get higher.’ :) I am so MAD...

My brother says that unless you write everyday in your blog, no one will return to it. Hmm...maybe. But how do you maintain quality then?

Smitha is in the ‘stripes and stars’ these days, to use Rithvik’s phrase. Rithvik has the most amazing vocabulary. His comments are very, very witty. Difficult it is, to keep up with him. Hehe...and fun, too. I met him online suddenly about a month back, I think...We used to be in the same college bus about 2 years back. The first time I noticed him was when he was sitting next to me with a rather long list of un-pronounceable words alongside with their respective meaning. I gathered that he was trying to learn them. Learn them, like we learn working of generators. This concept was shockingly new to me; GRE was not a concern then. I was a bit taken aback by this nerdy behaviour. And he couldn’t have looked less frustrated with the list, like it were refusing to give in to his mind... Hehe...God, he is crazy. He turned out to be as ‘un-nerdy’ as an intellectual can get. Smart chap. I have caught him actually being ‘sweet’- according to him it’s a unforgivable error. He can be really nice when we wants to, but he stubbornly refuses to learn the word. Maybe not on his list. :) I wonder why everyone is not what we call ‘nice’. How do we define ‘nice’?

Writing can be so relieving. Architect Gurudev Singh once told me- ‘The mind is always bubbling with ideas, and only once that the idea has been penned down will it be able to get over the excitement, and move on to the next.’ So true. Also, unasked-(i wonder if the word exists)- questions in the mind cause endless debates within- with no actual baseline. Sometimes you cannot see beyond what your mind is occupied with. Write it down. Then, you will see. I think the single most powerful sentence I wrote that helped relieve me was this- “What is today? Is it what it has become, or is it what we want it to be?”. This question had been lying in my mind- scattered, vague, without voice and unclear-(also unanswered)- until I finally wrote about the confusion in my mind. I wrote and wrote- about why I keep talking about revival and technology. About why I cannot design in deconstruction. About why I keep romanticizing the past. About what it is that I am struggling with. About what I think of globalization. About why I am a rigid designer. Then, suddenly, I typed it- it was brilliant- I could finally give it the words. Now I know the exact root of my concern- and it has helped me understand my own thoughts better.

I think I am a very difficult person to live with. I am extremely moody, highly emotional and very instinctive. I give my mom a very hard time.

Some really big questions of my life are looming over my head. It’s crunch-time. I cannot believe its time already- it’s time. I feel like I am fooling around still; kilometers away from the step. I don’t want to reach; I don’t want to take it up. It’s close now...maybe I should just jump, give in..

I like it when people use uncommon adjectives. It makes speech so interesting. In the movie Notting Hill, Hugh Grant uses the phrase- ‘spectacularly unfair’. Hehe..I loved that.