I wonder if my blog page is monotonous. It’s just pure text- and tons of it. We read a lot of books with only text, don’t we? Oh that reminds me of how desperately my mom had tried to get me started on reading actual books- a transfer from comics. Difficult, it was. I think the first book that I read was one of the secret seven series. Nice books, those. Famous five, too.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my professional future- how I want to end up- full fledged architect with big firm or what..So many things are coming to my mind- they’re all so easy to say- living them is a different thing. For example, “I want to bring design to the common man.” How in the whole universe do you actually do it? This might even sound too idealistic -or philosophical- even. Hmm..

Do ‘great’ architects have great attitude? I have been meeting with a lot of architects recently. I have asked them fundamental questions relating to their aim in their architectural life- and they’re all so unique. Everybody has something new and striking to say. But one thing- they know all about each other, and keep track of one another’s achievements and failures. Know your enemy, eh?

The last four paragraphs that I have written are all of almost the same length. Feels out of place- makes me want to write more in some of the paragraphs to make it less standardized. There- at least in this paragraph I varied the length! :)

“There is nothing called as a low cost home- It’s such a humiliating thing to say. Even if a farmer’s life savings is 3 lakhs, he expects a good home for himself. Same with a businessman with a budget of 3 crores. No one wants a cheap product. ‘Low cost’ is the wrong word. The word is ‘appropriate’.”

Taking photographs has become such an easy and inexpensive task. Digital cameras help a lot. Videos are even better. But we tend to get to the other extreme too. On architectural study tours, I tend to avoid carrying my camera- because the innocence with which space is experienced- is lost. When we design spaces, we always think of human psychology in the space- how she will react to this light, how she will experience this volume. But when these emotions are felt from behind the camera lens, they are not the same.

Why can’t mosquitoes just live and let live?

I was told recently that I come across as an arrogant person. I don’t understand- I do not have ego and over-confidence...for me, the most believable sentence would be the one which talks about my flaws...I’m crazy. The thing is, I think I am –innocently- too straight-forward and curious. I ask directly- and answer directly. This may be mistaken as attitude. For example, in std. Ten in a bio class, my teacher made me stand up and asked me out of complete and honest concern- “Why are your eyes watering? Are you crying?” For me, it was not a matter of choice- I had to tell the truth- “I just yawned, ma’am.” See now, I might have looked like a buffoon with horns, but for me, it was more of a fundamental law- not to lie- to anyone, about anything. I still don’t lie.

I hate getting ‘common’ cold. Without exception, I am infected once a year- and I just about barely exist for those 5 days. The beginnings are the worst- since I don’t carry a handkerchief with me everyday. That unfortunate first day of cold is rather embarrassing. Once I had cold when my college exams were going on- quite interesting entertainment it must have been to all.. Hehe...

Human communication is such a tedious process. Informing a group of seven people about tomorrow’s site visit is such a complicated thing to do. It’s more than just ‘message sent’ as in a sms. It goes much deeper than that. There are psychological consequences- introducing the theory of what I call- ‘she-felt-bad’. When members of a group are to be informed of a program tomorrow, they have to be made to feel like they are desperately needed; they should feel like they were the first ones to be informed. The concept of ‘forgetting’ is unforgivable. That of assumption is even worse. “I thought it will be too far for you to come.” “I thought you might be too busy to make it.” Who’s asking you to decide if I can come or not?! That’s MY job- yours is to inform me of the program. It’s worse when you’re trying to fix a program altogether. Why is it so difficult for people to agree on one thing? It’s never instinctive; it all has to be pre-decided.

The more you sleep, the sleepier you get during the day. Honestly. Sleep less during the entire semester, and you’re fine- except for dark circles and a lower level of concentration. But sleep for 10hrs immediately after that, and you’re gonna be sleepy the whole of the next day.

I get very irritated when people say things like—“ Hey I’m too busy, I cannot come..”, “I’m too tired because I rode 15kms today”, “It’s too far”, “I’m all stressed out cause I had an exam today and I slept only six hours..”. only six hours?? Do you know how long six hours of sleep is?? All these jobless engineering students go around saying “Hey I have lots of work- I have to write the record..” What in heaven’s name?? How long does writing a record take after all?? Three hours max?? That’s like nothing at all!! Try living an architect’s life..!

I love the primary schools in the rural areas of India...they have a portico running the length of the building, housing classrooms in a row...I love the columns- painted in the tri-colour...There are paintings of the national bird and animal.. You can see the bell hanging at the end of the corridor..Why can’t urban schools be like this? Why do they have to look like IT offices with glass facades and have abstract and designer murals on the walls? Why can’t the walls be painted with the Indian tri-colour? Why is there no verandah-like space in front of the classrooms? Why are corridors so concealed and darkly lit? It’s what we call progress.

I see at least one ambulance everyday.

I was told yesterday- “I read your blog. You write really well.” Now, personally I don’t think I write well at all. Honestly. And that too- of all places- in my blog. Here I’m writing exactly what I am thinking, word- by- word. Does that mean that I think well?? He he...I have never been known as someone who writes well. I cannot stop counting the number of grammatical errors.. Not only this, there are so many spelling mistakes too! I think if my mom read my blog, she would not be able to read what I’ve written at all- because her mind is too busy pointing out the errors..

My activa had a tyre puncture in the last week. It’s so crippling to not have your own vehicle to move around. I traveled to college and back by autorickshaw that day, and it cost me four times as much, wasting more than an hour in the process! No matter how much we complain about the traffic jams in the city, noone wants to let go of their own vehicles because the public transport is even worse. The thing is, I fully appreciate what new concepts BMTC is coming up with, but the bottom line is that traveling by bus is still very slow and tiring. I wonder if the metro will help.

I was riding back from college late yesterday evening, and suddenly one billion thoughts came to my mind- about random topics. I cannot remember even a quarter of them now. That time I was wondering if we can invent a sort of a typewriter in the head- which shifts thoughts directly from the brain. Noone would forget anything anymore. What would a human come across as then?

You should never depend on anybody else for anything in life- they will inevitably let u down. Should never consult anybody for an opinion- they don’t really care. Should never ask anyone if they’re doing something so that you can do it together- they always change their mind. Apna koi nahi hota. Sab paraey hain yahan.

Everybody in this world has their own set of friends. Every single person has a ‘best friend’. And when times change- and your friends don’t have time to hang out with you anymore, never stop to invite/wait for them. Don’t try to re-live the past moments. Don’t stay there in hope of them coming back to the golden days. They won’t. As we move ahead in life, so do friends. In today’s world, you cannot expect to have friends for life. Accept that. Move ahead, meet new people. It’s a whole new world out there. There are soo many great friends to make. One should never be too old to make new friends, cause old ones don’t really last. It’s all idealism. Once you find the newer ones, you’ll wish you had met them before- and then there’s no time- life’s next destination is here already, and it’s gonna lead elsewhere. You already know you’re going to be left alone- again. Don’t panic- it’ll be a whole new world- again.

Emotional intelligence is such a powerful thing. I think it’s a more important quality to have than a great I.Q. I was recently very pleasantly surprised by a friend’s emotional maturity. It’s always easy to give in and do what’s on your mind, but to pause, analyse, and reconsider- even forgive. I think forgiveness is the most divine of all emotion. Only those at higher levels of emotional maturity can actually forgive. In totality. How can you make out if a person is emotionally intelligent or not- in a first meeting? Gandhiji had said that one should judge a person’s character by being a witness to his interaction with people of a lower grade/class. Is that emotional intelligence too?

These days I’m looking to understand the differences- in the habits and behaviour- between a Brahmin and a ‘non-brahmin’. I’m curious. I want to know what difference our age old system of discrimination has made to our respective lives. It’s not about good or bad- it’s not about right or wrong- it’s about the difference. What are they? Similarly, what are the differences- in habits and behaviour- between a rich man and a middle class man?

I was just reading the stuff I have written, and I realized that in a paragraph-‘x’ paragraphs before this one, I talk about how the whole world more or less falls into one category-‘ordinary’-and that it is so diffcult to be ‘different’. And then, soon after that paragraph, I talk about how I am amused by the fact that each person is soo ‘different’ from another-and I wonder how people could possibly be so distinct. He he...Am I contradicting myself? Or is it that I am talking about two distinct topics, and that they cannot be compared on the same plane?

It’s difficult for me to type or think anything when a song is playing...-kept in the dark- I cannot seem to be able to concentrate...–so many words for the broken heart- music can be such a great distraction...-your every wish will be done, they tell me- I cannot listen to a song and do something else simultaneously...for example, while I’m typing this, there’s just some sound in the background, and I’m thinking about what I am typing. And when I finish typing, I go back to the song, and start humming with it. When I start typing again, I don’t remember what song is playing at all. It’s like I’m going in and out of the song...very much similar to the zooming in and out of the eye, trying to focus on two things almost one behind the other, 10 feet from the eye. You can’t focus on both at the same time- you can actually feel your eye zooming in and out, keeping up with human will.

I read about a famous Pakistani fashion designer today...Apparently, he is educationally qualified to be an architect! Immediately I felt that this designer chap was a cheater to his community- like he had done something that he should’nt have. Then, right after that, I saw a possibility for me. I told myself, “Even I could do that...” Would I be a traitor too? Or is it just that when people finally find their passion, you should be supportive of their courage to switch careers...? Like Shankar Mahadevan. Software enginner at Wipro to music director in bollywood.

What is the plural of ‘genius’? :)

Earphones just DO NOT fit in my ears properly. The tiny speakers keep falling off- it’s quite a nuisance to use them. Apparently I don’t have a tiny lobe in my ear that is supposed to hold them up. And if I somehow manage to keep them in place, and listen to music with zero movement( quite a sight, that is, mind-), i cannot keep them on for more than an hour- it hurts. Each one of us has such unique problems :)

My mom keeps asking me to clean my room. Why do all mothers keep asking their children to clean their respective rooms? I don’t get it- it’s unmistakably universal. What are these children going to grow up and tell their children? Don’t tell me I’m going to grow up and tell my children to clean their rooms. Hehe.. Is it a cycle? Does everybody grow up to realize that rooms should be cleaned? :)

A friend in my class was wearing a dull-green looking shirt today. When I looked closely, it was composed of vertical strips in four colours- off-white, black, dull-orange, and green- in the same order. Why did the shirt look green overall? Isn’t green supposed to have least scattering property in the spectrum or something like that? By that theory, the shirt should have looked orange, right?

I loved the movie swades. That is the only movie in which shah rukh does not make his ‘standard-emotional-face’. He actually grips. I wonder if the director makes the difference. I personally think shah rukh can’t act for nuts. But then, I saw the episode of ‘koffee with karan’ starring rani mukherjee, kajol and shah rukh where he came across as such a charming man. So much energy, so approachable, so enthusiaistic. Karan had a segment where he spoke to a bunch of kids and asked them- ‘how many of you love shah rukh?’- Most of them raised their hands, screaming in delight. Shah rukh was interested in the 2-3 who didn’t. That’s like the most amazing thing, isn’t it? He’d probably want to have them convinced too. I don’t think aamir would have done that.

I LOVE the new tata safari ad. Not as a product seller, but for its starting point, and the most alarming realization of our life it brings forth- ‘Slavery is not dead, we’ve just stopped recognizing it. When did u agree to be continuously watched, to your life not being yours anymore?’ The visuals are simple, and stunning -literally. What have we made ourselves become?

Let’s say you are on your way to your best friend’s wedding reception. You are very well dressed, and can’t wait to hug her with congrats. You are so excited for her. You enter the wedding hall, and in the distance you can see brilliant light focusing on the stage. You walk closer, and all you can see from then on is the photographer’s head. Now, isn’t that just absolutely irritating? That’s what happens in today’s wedding- everything is done for the photograph. The groom put the garland around the bride’s neck. Oh no no, the photographer didn’t catch it, do it again. Aaarrgghhhh. Wedding photography is not a pictoral representation of a list of things that happen at the wedding, but it is the capturing of the emotion. Just as the mangalsutra is about to adorn the bride’s neck, she can see it right in front of her nose- she is both scared and excited at the same time- it is the moment of her life. Capture that. As the bride walks into the hall for the first ceremony, the anxious groom’s face is glowing- he can’t stop grinning. Capture that. The groom’s cousins are trying to flick the gifts. The bride’s detectives are trying to steal the shoes. North Indians are desperately trying to keep the mobile ‘saaru’ within the banana leaf. Jobless guests are playing cricket in hiding. The bride is eating a chocolate under her palloo. These are the moments that we miss, the times that we want to re-live and enjoy. Wedding photography should aim at capturing these too, if not only.

How do a left hander ride a two wheeler? Does she accelerate with her wrong hand? :)

I was weaving beads into a thread today. The selection of a bead at any point depends on the kind of bead in the string before this one, and the one that will come after it. This, I think, is the most understandable analogy of ‘relevence’. Architecturally, too. This is the context. The essence of urban design, Ananth Sir said. Simple, isn’t it? But then why do most architects today fail to realize it?

I bought a new wallet today. It looks bigger than the earlier one, and accomadates more. I cannot let go of my old one though. I wonder if it’s just me, or is it difficult for everybody to let go of things they have used for a long time?

When someone uses the word ‘fool-proof’, it sounds like an intelligent thing to say- the image that immediately comes to my mind is that of a CBI officer- working on a top-secret and ‘fool-proof’ mission... But if you look at it closely, the word contains the sub-word, ‘fool’. The image that comes to my mind is that of an air-head, who believes that if he stares hard enough, he can see the back of his head. Quite different from a CBI officer, don’t you think? :)

People can be so mean and cruel. So business-like. When it comes to money. PAISA. My dad says that for some people, when it becomes about the money, they could even refuse to identify their own parents...I wouldn’t have believed it earlier. Now I do. It’s like suddenly you have been pushed into this big bad world that you have been avoiding all your life. It’s thrown in your face- and it stinks. You dissolve, and become one of them- to survive them. I had not intended to make that leap at this point in my life- I have one and a half years more of schooling (or rather college-ing) to do. Maybe this rude shock will help me build my life further. OR maybe I’ve lost a couple of precious years of innocence I could have lived. Maybe this is what happens to kids whose lives are changed forever by tragedy. Maybe worse. The faith in the good is lost; the free air you breathe starts to smell suspicious. It IS a big bad world.

I was crossing a signal on foot yesterday, and I passed by a lady with a much distorted face. What came to my mind immediately was “oh, so sad...” WHY? It doesn’t matter how you look, right? How important is it for Tiger Woods to have better eyebrows? Would it make any difference to him at all if his face was distorted?? Amilie Mauresmuo (dunno the spelling)-My mom keeps groaning every time she watches her play- she claims the tennis player looks man-like. WHO CARES? SHE’S PLAYING THE WIMBLEDON FINAL. Can you do that? Can you even dream of getting there? Stephen Hawking. Should I say more? It does not matter how you look to become who you want to be or what you want to do in life. We're all living in the grays though, aren't we?

Asking for money can be so depressing and emotionally demanding. Even when you deserve it. Why is the whole world trying to negotiate? Why does everything run on money?

People are so different from one another. It amuses me. Each person has a different understanding of everything. How can everyone possibly be so different?? For example, I escorted various people to my site, and they all loved it, but for fundamentally different reasons. My mom loves the openness, my dad loves the hollow clay block as it is so different from all other building materials, my friend pooja loves it because there are angular lines in the plan. I am still to accompany many others. It will be amusing to discover all the reasons- and also the criticism.

I was remembering my second pu days yesterday. They were soo much fun. I don’t remember studying at all. I remember all the background things- writing records in class, taking part in inter-college events and winning, making and writing in slam books, entering late in class, eating ‘bajji’ at 8 in the night(13kms from my home), staying at friend’s places at nights in hope of studying(watching movies instead), spilling conc.HNO3 on my fingers, the smell of benzoic acid(I hope the name’s right), fighting with ashwin for seats every morning, trying to avoid varun but not his food(hehe), the teachers’s day function, the drama, the ‘junk’ with anuradha(that was some solid entertainment in class), speaking to vinay and gang(the most enjoyable moments of the two years), writing sandesh’s record, borrowing lab coats for chem. labs, cannizzaro’s reactions(alcohol+ aldehyde->something), talking and walking textbooks in class(:)), mr.PM(cannot even begin to explain), comp labs...If you noticed, it was my second pu. And I don’t remember anything about studying at all. And I scored 98.67%. I think it shows what is more important in life, and I was right when I wrote it in my slam book. The unfinished record doesn’t matter, the unfinished slam book does.

Interior design is the exploration into materials, textures and colour. The basic framework remains the same. Somehow I don’t like it. Architecture is very, very different from this understanding- it is the creation, or the formation. It is not about decoration, but about psychology of space. My understanding of interior design, as of today, is limited to small spaces, mostly residences. In magazines like inside outside, what comes across about interior design is that it’s all about being creative with materials; how you can roll what, and stick where. It does not speak about why the sofa is as wide as it is, or why seating has been restricted to this area/shape; how the selected materials have been arrived at, or how tall the wardrobe is. The wardrobe is always of the same height; the sofa is always as wide as it has always been. Circulation patterns and the physical dimensions of the space are determined by its architecture. Interior design is more-so the matching of patterns. Sheesh. Some interior designer is going to kill me soon. The thing is, I want to understand, I want to appreciate it. Maybe I’m not looking in the right places. Hmm...

How important is one’s age for acquiring experience? Does experience inevitably go hand in hand with age? Especially in this time period, in a city like Bangalore. Does my dad know more about mistakes made in the teenage or do I? He has experience; he has been through it himself, and also seen dozens of others through it. He has had two decades to reflect upon it. I, on the other hand, have just about crossed it. Or so I believe. But I claim to know more about the attitude of teenagers today and thus their mistakes, than my father. Am I right? I wonder if I’m going to contradict myself once I have had two decades to reflect upon these years.

Why is it so difficult to be different? Why does almost everything I see around me belong to one category- ‘ordinary’? It wonders me- it should actually be the opposite, right? Isn’t it always difficult for everything to be same? Isn’t it difficult for 20 dancers to synchronise? It’s impossible for two people to think in the same exact way. Still there are few who are ‘different’. Why are multi millionaires so rare? Why is ‘doing-things-differently’ considered great? Why am I always looking for that something ‘different’? Everyone knows what being ‘different’ means, everyone wants to be different. ‘Alag’. Still no luck. What’s the point?

I think I think a lot. I’ve been told that- a lot of times. Even that parrot-astrologer team said that I think “too much”. Hehe...also, I ask a lot of questions. Apparently I’m very moody. I didn’t know that. Till I became moody. Or so I believe. If it is that I have always been moody, it just reminds me of the things that I am, and not know of. I have never really known myself- bhavana has, though. She wrote ‘moodiest person I know’ in one of the greeting cards she gifted me-ages before I knew I was a moody person. I frowned innocently at that phrase then, but now I know. I wonder if my mother knows me. I wonder if I’m different with my friends than I am at home. I don’t know. I wonder if this has anything got to do with the fact that I’m a Gemini. Feels good to have an excuse :)

Yesterday I suddenly remembered my late night walks with mama. My legs would cry- trying to hold up my weight- but it was worth it. Those were the times that I actually spoke to him- he was himself- free and fun- the one person I miss a lot in my life. He was the person back then who made the effort to pretend to/ actually take me seriously. He expects something of me, and when I am with him, I believe I can do it. He is one person very, very, very difficult to impress, or be complimented by, and I will always remember that he gave me an A+ when I asked him to ‘critique’ me. Of course, after that he told me one million things that I might go wrong with in my life- but I believed that I could overcome them because he believed I could. Wow. A strong burst of warmth comes to my heart every time I think of him.

I feel like I am already one generation behind the youngsters of today. Or rather, they are one generation ahead of me. It’s rather irritating to see where people of Bangalore are headed- attitude wise. School kids are corrupted. Latest I heard- kids of class 8 place mirrors on the floor at girl’s desks. You know what I did when I was in class 8?? I looked like a maid servant’s daughter, sang happily in the corridors, played dumb charades in class, and participated in the rangoli competition. What’s happening today? Make-up. Waxing. Razor hair-cut. Style. Sex. Yes, I have heard school kids use that word in a manner that even I will not. They’re 14 years old for god’s sake! How did we come to this? Is this what ‘metropolitan’ means? Is this what ‘smart kid’ means? Kids bunking school to watch a movie at pvr! I think the worst thing still is the fact that we cannot do anything. When children grow up in an environment where life is expensive and they can afford it, I think it’s the worst thing that can happen to them. I didn’t know the meaning of the rudest words in the English language till about 6 months back. I used to wonder if I was embarrassing to others- worst even- to me. Not anymore.

My friend recently gifted me a tinkle. I felt so warm. I wonder if the stories in the tinkle have changed. I still remember a few stories from the tinkles I read when I was a kid. The tsunami one, the one where the rich guy teaches the poor guy how to fish instead of giving him a fish to eat, the one about a boy with butter fingers, the suppandi ones, and so many more. I think we adults should once in a while go back to such simple activites of our childhood. It helps understand where we stand today, and remind ourselves that everything can be simple still. I gifted my brother a bow and arrow made of bamboo on his birthday, and a piece of paper I made for another’s birthday. I just absolutely love making gifts for people. It’s the most inexpensive gift you can give yourself :)

I have to draft three plates today. I’m still very cool. Wonder how. Maybe because it’s tangible work. Something measurable. Not like third week at design studio. It’s amusing, how I tend to calm down when I know exactly what is needed to be done, even though I might enjoy working on design more than building construction. Naveen was talking about some senior in college today- “She’s in final year and she still has such interest in bc that she actually drafts all her plates..”. What does ‘still’ mean? Why do people in general lose interest in drafting bc by the time they reach fourth year? Should they? Why is there always a difference between what should be done and what is happening? Is it universal? Do I ask too many questions?

I want to watch tv at 5. The time is five to five. What could I possibly write about in five minutes? Five minutes comes across as such a small period of time...there are a lot of things that can be done in one minute, let alone five. For example, typing a message. Or tying your shoe laces. Or searching my entire room for my pen drive (on a weekday morning, that is. It would take me an entire Sunday in peaceful circumstances). See, only three of five minutes up. I still have time. Hehe..my brain is blank. I don’t understand it when people say they go blank the moment someone asks them to say something about something specific. Like- “what’s your opinion on the third week of deliberations of the fifth round table conference?”---”er...”! Amazingly, I still have thirty seconds to go! Nothing else to do, so I’ll buzz off!

I like the word ‘random’. It’s so cool. So powerful and simple at the same time. It is the difference between a mugger and a clever chap. It’s ok if you don’t dig. Chill madi. I have a history with these kinds of phrases. Throughout school and college, these catch words have always been around as the language of that time...”nin tale kayi bajji”, “addjusht”, “halli guggu”, “fine, ok?!!”, “crap!”, “nin muthi!”, “too much ma!”, “ehao”, and many more. Wonder if we can keep track of time with respect to these phrases? What if it becomes something like a fashion trend, which repeats itself in due time? If we made calendars based on these catch words, we would be wrapping time around a circle...no end or beginning...quite like it already is, don’t u think?

I was watching ‘Chhoti si baat’ a few days back...such an innocent, warm movie. It reflects the state of our society at that point of time- the offices, the ways of life...i don’t think I can find a movie with such a simple heart now- now it’s all about the bikinis and the love making scenes. Even good movies like munnabhai are different from the old ones- the problems, the obstacles, the plots are different. Earlier problems would be the rich girl’s dad or poverty. Today they are about the corrupt government, infidelity, and the hero’s own wicked brother. It’s about murder, about arguments between a couple. I think the problems of today have climbed up the ladder of basic needs: they start after the fundamentals have been attained. Or have they? Are they reflecting the progress our country is achieveing? Why are sooraj barjatya’s movies outdated? Why is a robbery by blind men more of a plot than a bride getting burnt? Are we just trying to be creative and not repeat the same masala? Is that not affecting the mindset of the society? Or are we really changing? Will we ever get back that innocence? amol palekar. I think he’s the king of simplicity- his movies make me want to live back then, when people could be trusted, when independence was not the aim of one’s life.

Is it really a small world? There are lots of incidents that affirm the faith. There are also a lot of facts that do not let us believe. Really, some things are totally upto us. We cannot control occurances; but we can choose to expect them, or be surprised. Which is better? What is ‘better’?

It’s been crazy this week- full day for 5 days, and an additional class on the sixth. It’s not that there’s no “time”, but I miss the ‘day’ part of the day. I come home at 5 if I leave college immediately after class, and by the time I look here and there, its dark. I don’t exactly have a problem with the dark, but I miss sitting at my table looking at the fields. I call it my ‘high seat’. Sitting there makes me forget about the ‘deadlines’. Sitting there makes me want to explore at leisure. Chill. Make a study model. Paint. Read. But of course, soon it’s going to be dark. I miss the holidays.

I think the people of my class (or at least a majority of them) have finally discovered the computer. Graphic skills. Photoshop. Jpeg. Images. Cad to revit. 3d-max to rhino. Nice. Ive been opened to the world of erasable lines too. It’s fun. And easy. But I still cannot think on the computer. Not that anybody is asking me to, I can always sketch. In the head, cad seems easier. I’m afraid of being so dependent on something.

How is a design process initiated? What are we expected to do or start with? The design faculty we have been dealing with for the past semesters has had strong yet varied ideas of a design ‘start’. Not even once have we agreed with them. No, I think once, just once. When prashanth sir was our lecturer. That design interaction and learing, I think, has been the most effective and exciting way of the beginning, progress, and completion of a design problem. What is the aim of a first desk review? To put forward the general wanderings of the mind with respect to an aspect of the problem, or is it the fundamental laying down of logistics, and starting with arriving at a site in a complex? Are we expected to come up with a ‘concept’ three days after the program was given? A concept is an idea; it has to strike. Maybe it’s foolish to just wait for an idea to strike. But then what’s the point of a desk review of a project, which provides general information? I think I can go on and on. Wht’s the point? I have to have something on paper to show them for the next design class. It’s the same story. Every semester. Is this the way to learn architecture? Or is it the way to learn architecture?

It is inevitable. It is progress. Watch monalisa smile, and you’ll know what I’m talking about. The loud cry of ‘culture’, ‘society’ and stuff that we keep defending India with, is about to vanish. The substance is about to be lost, and we must accept it. Why is every girl in our country married before 25 years of age? Society. Culture. That’s what we say. It’s changing. It is freedom. It’s funny, the way its meaning changes with progress. I think the American society looks at us like we are far behind, under developed..we look at them as they are too different. They are not different; they are forward. We’re on our way there. We must accept that. Multiple marriages, self centered lives. We have been living our lives for others all these years- parents live to give birth to their kids, and the kids live to continue that. The woman lives for the upbringing of her children, and the father lives to feed them. The children grow up to fulfill their duties- continue their father’s life. Suddenly when one such kid stands up and says I want to be an engineer and not a farmer, he’s a traitor. He used to be. It’s beginning to be accepted these days- the children do what they want to do, u cannot decide for them. Parents are left where they are because the kid starts living not for them, but for himself. Tomorrow, the Indian woman is going to live for herself. It is inevitable. Is it freedom? Is it progress?

I wonder if I should create a blog. Im curious to see if people are curious enough to read my blog as it is today- a jumble of thoughts. Maybe I’ll be one more blog for people to pass by till they click on ‘next blog’. I dunno.

The wires at the backside of my computer create quite a maze...a dirty one, too...covered with dust..Sometimes I wonder how India would be without dust. No visible earth. No dharti. I don’t know whether I would like that. I’m still on the hunt for things that create a feeling of indianness.

They said provide excess storage to avoid clutter. I think there is more than excess storage facility in my room. Yet it is eternally cluttered. I don’t get it. What does ‘clutter’ mean? Things lying around on the bed? Or just about anything out of its place? Wht if something does not have an assigned place? Like my cell phone? Or my jacket?

Ive been thinking about the character of the clothes that I wear. What is it that makes them my clothes? What is ‘me’? What kind of character do I want my clothes to have? Indian? Contemporary Indian? Modern Indian? Comfortable? My clothes today are a collection of colours that seem ‘comfortable’ to my eyes. I never buy things that ive seen a model wear. I have clothes ranging from ‘truly Indian goody girl’ to ‘comfortable contemporary international woman’. What am I? What do I want to be?

What’s with the night and panic for every Indian woman? Why are we made to fear the dark? Why does 7pm go hand in hand with “GET THE HELL HOME AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!”? Does this time address more to the Indian housewife who is supposed to be at home before her husband gets there? Or is it addressing the undeniable fact that we are, after all, women; and that we aren’t safe outside in the night? This argument is beyond the point of injustice- im asking for reasoning. Why don’t we shift our timings so that the sun rises at 8 and sets at 9? Wouldn’t that prove to be a lot more productive and livable? How about daylight savings? Or is it that we attach too much sentiment with the ‘rising of the sun’ and cannot think of it as something that can be humanly modified? We’re still living in the tenth century.

I dont usually finish up all my pocket money for a month.. I keep some for the petrol till the last day...like i had a hundred for today but i didnt need it. So i treated myself to some ice cream...i dont think u know, but i eat ice cream very often, and alone. Everybody else thinks its crazy to eat alone, but i think it's a nice experience. I love the startled looks on people's faces...i usually give them looks like "hello, is something the matter?" hehe.... Life’s good fun...

Typing is a very interesting thing to do. I get a kick by just thinking, “let’s type something”... it’s a beautiful thing to press buttons in rapid succession. I love placing the full stop in the courier font. It is so defined and tiny...I get kicks by a range of very small, weird things to really expensive ones: just the thought of buying stationery, the thought of organizing into categories, making something cleanER, printing on a3, buying beads, wandering on the terrace just before it rains, traveling, shopping, making paper, naming cds with markers, sketching, cutting paper, watching tennis, eating ice cream, owning lots of empty books and paper, playing with the camera, etc. these are things that I think are very specific to me... I assume everyone has different sets of such interests, which is why we act fundamentally different from each other. What is the source of such interests in the first place?

I’ve been watching a lot of fashion related shows these days. I want to understand it. I think the easiest way of understanding a certain thing is to first understand wht it is not. I was watching the ‘101 most unforgivable fashion disasters in entertainment’ or something named similar. About 2 years ago, I couldn’t differentiate between a great outfit and a dress disaster. Not that im very good at it these days, but I think its more important for anybody to first identify and accept the areas in which they need to improve, and then work towards it. Sometimes I wonder why I should try in the first place.

Fashion is not my industry. But then again, I think fashion is one of the fields that is very easily relatable to architecture. Point one, everyone on this earth wears clothes, but few understand that they need to be ‘designed’. Point two- it is allegedly ‘inaccessible’ by the general janta. “Fashion is only for the rich. Fashion designers are expensive, and only work for movie actors.” Fashion design is nothing but the design of clothes, and I understand that. Every single thing I wear needs to be designed for my physical proportions, my personality, and me. It is a basic necessity. But then again, what do these huge stores like Westside do?

How do u present an interior project to a client? Model? One-point perspectives? It’s pretty weird, actually...even on these television shows, things are compressed into half an hour’s time, and the client is entirely missing! Wht do u do if people are staying in the space already, and u were allowed to visit it for only an hour every week? How do u implement the concept of working at site?! I think interiors must be designed at site, and not at a drafting table 16kms away. What can u do when it is physically impossible?!

People should start appreciating other people’s enthusiasm...like when I show my mom something that I have worked hard at or have great expectations from, I expect her to show some interest in the matter; attend to it as soon as possible- in fact, immediately if possible. I somehow lose respect for people who don’t. I know it’s a very, very difficult thing to practise, but somehow I think that people should attend towards it.

My eyes are itching like mad. Its like someone has kept a cut onion in front of my eyes or something. Sometimes my eyes itch due to the conditioner that I apply on my face... but it had been a long time since that happened, and im sure its not the same case right now.

Writing cds should be made efficient. Its so crazy to first spend ten minutes in creating an image of the original cd on ur hard disk, inserting the empty cd, and then realizing that the space on the cd isn’t enough. It’s a waste of a whole twenty minutes of morning time, especially when you’re buying time by going to college on bike. Morning time is very, very precious. I could trade ten minutes of morning time with a couple of hours of evening time. Of course, I know better than to burn cds at 6 in the morning, but then the guest syndrome comes in and sweeps out the importance of individual schedule of the host. It’s alright.

Using the computer without a mouse can be quite irritating. Right now, my mouse is jammed, and my least favourite hobby of burning discs for guests is still on. I know a couple of keys from pre university study, but that isn’t entirely enough to navigate through the entire system, or work on autocad. Its funny, how we tend to make do with whatever we have. I think whatever we have today, I mean, the progress that we have made with computers is also just one point in the middle of nowhere, as we cannot compare it with anything, and all that this progess has to offer us as services, we make do with. Interesting.

Getting old is almost like dying in slow motion. Once you are forty, u have to stop playing badminton because ur body cannot take it. Once you are forty-five, using a computer or a mobile phone is a pain- you cannot see the numbers. Once you are fifty, you cannot expect to be able to be healthy. Medicines. Once you are fifty-five, u cannot expect to be able to walk fast. Or rather, fast enough. Once you are sixty, you don’t know what to do in your free time. You start to interfere in your son/daughter’s scheldule. Then it gets painful in the head. Once you are sixty-five, u cannot expect to have the same hearing ability. Then you become an object of ridicule. U cannot run. U cannot travel alone. Seventy. It’s over. The respect is lost, all abilities invisible and all relationships careless. I think this is the most negative view of life ever. But this, I think, is the general story of an average American. Slowly this is turning into the story of an Indian.

This stupid yahoo messenger shows me online 24hrs a day. I’m online to everyone, everytime. I don’t get offline messages. People think I don’t reply to their messages. Idiotic yahoo. My signing in and out has no consequence whtsoever. Yet I perform the ritual most religiously. That too, intentionally. I don’t know wht tht actually means but its ok.

Life at rvsa is the same as ever- the never ending rush to finish things which can never really be finished; trying to make excuses to enter late in civil classes; keep the draftin neat in spite of the mad heat; get your faculty to see the point ur trying to make in design which, by the way, they've sworn to crit; and finally, and most desperately, find some time in between all of this for some sleep. Then, of course, comes food. Cheers to architecture, still loving it!

About my dream.... the thing that i have been thinkin abt the last few months is that there is no use in being famous or good in your own community...in architecture, specially, we talk of some things as fact, while the rest of the world swears by the opposite. It’s not abt the existence of the difference, but the thing that as long as this gap exists, the architectural community cannot help people help themselves. It might sound very confusing and 'made-up'. Believe me, its not. I want to educate the common man, make him understand the necessity of design, the aim of architecture. Architecture is not here for the rich; but for those who want to understand and belong to their surroundings. I want to do something; something!

Fallawwed aar naat?!! This was, i think, the most contraversial of questions; as it was not in reality a question at all- it was more like mi's way of pronouncing that she has said all tht she knew of the topic, and she's about to yell at someone next to the window for no reason at all... i remember one distinct class of hers when i almost gave up on finding her brain for her- in one of the reactions, the catalyst being molybdenum oxide, on hearing the sound 'moo' echoing in class, she asked us who the buffalo in class was!! Imagine, if she were a cow, she'd be the most illiterate of her generation...

I’m a complete movie buff. I love watching movies. Of course I hate the stupid ones, but I love the good ones almost as much as I hate the idiotic ones. I watch movies over and over again. I tend to repeat things that I like to do- almost qualifying as hype; and then I get enough of them for a good ten years...not a very good habit, is it?! For example, eating fruit with custard after I return from college. It was thrilling in the beginning; I insisted on continuing it. Then it didn’t seem as exciting, and now I don’t feel like eating it more than once a month. Same with curd rice. Same with movie songs. Hmm...

Response. Responsible. Responsibility. Three words. Don’t they seem like they belong to the same parent? Yet each word brings an entirely different pre-defined meaning to my mind. Strange. This came to my mind when I was riding to college today. I think a lot when I’m riding. Not intentionally. Thoughts seem to just keep popping up in my brain. One by one, the most unrelated of things seem to be linked together by a chain of subtle, common factors. It’s a continuous line of continuous entertainment. Maybe that’s why I don’t realize the distance. Its greater now than it was to kumarans. I remember telling a ‘fan’ that riding is not stressful to me- the road keeps unfolding, and I keep riding. I sound so good. Hehe...

Vaastu, for the common man, is beyond reasoning. For him its simple faith, its something he believes in, and is afraid to violate- pretty much like religion. For us architects, of course, its utter rubbish- vaastu started as common sense, which, i think, was pretty relevant then. Today, of course, its outdated, and it will take us more than convincing to show the layman the light.

I was generally thinkin of indian hindu temples in today's context..You know, if i was asked to design a Hindu temple today, wht am i expected to do? Redefine its function keeping in mind the 'time' of our lives, or modify the legacy, the tradition. Should i purposefully make dark interiors for the feeling for sacredness or should i bring in the light because i CAN? Should i have carved ornamentation or a blank stonewall? Which is more appropriate? Which is more Indian? Which answers time's call? Should we continue to build domes- not of elaborately carved stone, but of concrete? Or should we define today's temples to have pergolas?

In the old times, the sole authority was the king; he was learned, wise and understood the society- he gave the right patronage; chose the right people to do the right job. Even builders had generational history. Do u think the king would have allowed a rajasthani palace to have open screens on the west? The use of wind was understood; the use of the court was understood.
Yet, today, we do not understand it. Democracy has in a way failed us; the right and wrong is lost- wht i like and wht i dont like is more important.
B.arch is a way to make us understand. And once we have understood, it is for us to direct architecture forwards; it would be a complete failure if we decide to build rajasthani palace facades for our offices.

What makes a space Indian? We keep talking about Indian architecture, Indian spaces, Indian feel, and indianness. Wht quality of the space do u think makes it Indian? What do we choose to identify as 'indian'? Are they the colours? Or the rough textures? Mud plaster? Small size? Dark interiors of temples? Can a steel building not be Indian? Somehow i think the process of making a space indian goes deeper than its percievable characteristics- the social that an indian is, or the warm welcome we give to the sun, or the value that we associate with our living spaces- is all reflected in our spaces, in very, very subtle ways. In the architecture of the past, we have identified and praised them; i am in search for a contemporary vocabulary for 'indianness'. Sangath, or even the tube house by correa is deeply Indian. Wht say? 'The fact that it still exists today is indian'...it clearly identifies the amount of importance we associate with our structures, rather we used to. The program for the design of a building in the past, i think, has been to create a masterpiece; not to have a thicker wall than the previous. Today, we seem to ignore the fact that a building is a functional element first, then a bait for comparison/superiority.i also understand the line of indian architecture is 'beyond beauty'; i find 'beautiful' a very, very incomplete description of indian architecture- it is soo beyond it. Im thrilled that someone finally understands it; u have to be able to look beyond the skin.

Naveen says im strongly driven by logic. Does that mean im less human and more machine like? Something like doing the ‘right’ thing, and losing the fun of life? Hmm... I don’t bitch, I don’t gossip. And the like. Does that make me less fun? Im bursting with positive fun- people have awesome times with me. It’s not abt being modest. I’m tryin to understand myself. Im sure of one thing- I am great fun. Maybe other people’s fun includes gossiping about other people’s business. Mine doesn’t. Simple. I cannot even force people to have my kind of fun. It’s ok.

I have been wearing beads woven on a thread at my right ankle. It looks soo pretty. Only my feet aren’t clean. Sheesh.

I own at least seven types of glue. And at least five types of tape. Feviquick, fevibond, fevicol, superglue, something, something. Scotch tape, abro tape, cello tape, insulation tape, sales tape, brown packing tape, and double sided tape. Im crazy.

Ive stopped using floppy discs. I used to use them earlier for presentation purposes. These days pen-drives owned by others are sufficiently convienient. I have one re-writable cd that I carry around in which I store everything I need. ‘Everything’ can sound far fetching- I need mostly one autocad file and in rare cases, a power point presentation. I must seem a guggu to high tech information transfers. Who cares?